Pondering from Mabel …..

Welcome to all my returning Mabel friends.
It’s been along time since I’ve chatted with ya’ll.

This summer was brutally hot. I spent many pleasant evenings sitting out on the front porch visiting with my neighbors.

We’re fortunate here that my Assisted Living facility has a very nice olympic sized pool.

Of course, they should have a dress code for these elderly swimmers.

I declare it isn’t pretty. Well, except for cute little Mary Lou.

You remember her, she’s married to the retired doctor Wong Cho. There isn’t an ounce of fat on that pretty little thing.

Then, there’s Harper. He’s a 6’ tall, gray haired and a former olympic swimmer from his younger days.

He’s Austrian. He says they skinny dip in his country. Good Lord, whatever are they thinkin’?

I guess I should be happy he puts a speedo on.

Maybe someone oughta tell him, he isn’t so young anymore. He has more wrinkles than a white shirt waitin’ to be pressed.

As you know, it’s Autumn and the days are getting shorter and cooler. I find it real nice to sit by the lake watching the ducks and readin’ the newspaper.

This morning, I read some funny things I thought you might like.

***************************************************************************

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly  contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n.  The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3.  Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v.  To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj.  Impotent.

6.  Negligent, adj. Absent minded – answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v.  To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n.  Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n.  Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

12. Testicle, n.  A humorous question on an exam.

13. Rectitude, n.  The formal – dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

14. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

15. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

16. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

**************************************************************************************

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

 ~~~~~ Life is too short to be anything but happy. ~~~~~

Come back real soon and see what else I’m pondering ….. Mabel

2014© written by Isadora

******* Mabel is a fictional character that I’ve created. Any similarities to persons are purely coincidental.