WARNING: BLUE HUMOR

Pondering from Mabel – Love is in the Air at my Assisted Living

I’m sure you know that Valentine’s Day is just a few days away.

Love is in the air, ’cause they’re puttin’ up those

bright red hearts and balloons for our Valentine Dinner and Dance on Saturday.

I don’t know if my husband, Fred, would have been involved

with all of the celebratin’ we do here. I suppose they’re afraid we might get bored.

They have a gal from the local beauty salon donatin’ her time to doll us all up.

Bless her heart. It should go real quick considerin’ most of us have hair so thin you can see our scalps.

You get to be our age and you don’t rightly care. No sir, breathin’ is the most important.

Of course, sweet little Mary Lou Cho wears one of them new hair wigs.

She always looks real nice. Tiny little thing. I suppose her vanity has her going through all that work.

Ya’ll remember, 91 year old, Willie gettin’ lost on New year’s eve, don’t ya?

If you missed it, you can check here to read all about his foolery.

I got to pondering that, maybe, I should write about something

Seniors should be thinkin’ about for after our Valentine Dance.

I plan on dancing ’til dawn. I hope ya’ll have a real nice Valentine’s Day.

Ccome back and visit real soon.


Live Life,
Mabel

Lovemaking Tips for Seniors



1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)



4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.



5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember.

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.



7. Have Tylenol or whatever you use ready in case you actually complete the
 act.

8. Make all the noise you want … The neighbors are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news … even if its 8PM… !!

10. Don’t even think about trying it twice.

Remember Old is When



’OLD’ IS WHEN… 
Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love,’ and you answer, ‘Pick
one;

I can’t do both!’

’OLD’ IS WHEN… 
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.



‘OLD’ IS WHEN… 
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.



’OLD’ IS WHEN… 
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.



‘OLD’ IS WHEN… 
’Getting a little action’ means you don’t need to take a laxative today.



‘OLD’ IS WHEN…. 
’Getting Lucky’ means you find your car in the parking lot.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN… 
An ‘all nighter’ means not getting up to use the bathroom.



’OLD’ IS WHEN…. 
You’re not sure if these are facts or jokes. 










 

 

 

 ***** Mabel is a fiction character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.