- What should we do with friends in our lives when we make them?
- How do you manage your time with friends?
- As a woman, should you just have female friends?
- Do we want to grow emotionally, spiritually and intellectually with friends?
- When are friends no longer friends? And, why?
Have you ever been friends with someone for many years but, one day, they disappear from your life leaving you to wonder:
Have you had a friendship for a long, long time but, recently, the beginnings of aging and memory problems has changed the relationship despite your desire to prolong it. Our hearts falter to accept this inevitability. We know that terrible thief ‘Aging’ is breathing down their necks while snickering at you.
We’ve all had friendships that have ended without cause. The waning friendship may have been happening all along, slowly, without your noticing the changes.
Sometimes, a change in geographical location can end a friendship. We believe we’ll continue the friendship from a distance but, despite our denial, it won’t be the same.
I’d been reading a few posts by Susannah Bianchi @ her blog ‘A Thing Girl’. Her blog is quite interesting. She takes me back to New York memories from time to time which I can relate to. As she says, “I write with a slant”. If you’d like to read the story that inspired this post click on the title: ‘No More Mimi’.
I read the poem below shortly after a friendship I had had for quite a long time ended because of a move I’d made 27 years ago to another state. I happened upon this poem during that difficult time. I mentioned the title in my comment to Susannah. She hadn’t read it. I decided to post it for her and for anyone who has had a friendship end.
A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime
People generally come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.
Understanding this principle can enhance your relationships by helping you better serve others and learn or grow from what they have to offer.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it may be they have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance. They may be in your life to support you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
A difficult person can challenge you to grow in patience, forgiveness, and/or understanding. Some people may test your strength, commitment, willpower, determination, and/or ethics. A positive and supportive person who comes into our life may seem like a blessing and godsend; and they are. In either case, the person has come into your life for the reason needed.
One day, seemingly without any reason, the relationship may come to an end. This may happen over time as you drift apart, or more suddenly. It may be a positive experience such as someone getting married or moving to another city to take a job offer. Or, the relationship may end through negative circumstances that force you to take a stand on an issue.
What we must realize is that a need has been met – for you and for them. Perhaps it was an unknown need, or maybe it was an answer to a prayer. If the relationship has ended, then reflect, give thanks, consider what you learned, think about what you could/would do better next time (even if you felt the relationship was a good one), forgive if needed, hope/wish/pray the best for that person, and then move on in your journey.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON — an extended period of time. Just as there are seasons for planting, growing, and harvesting; in your life, there are seasons when you are prepared to learn, grow, or produce. There are other times in your life when you’re not prepared to grow, learn, or even listen. So, when someone comes into your life at a certain season, it is because the timing is right for what they can offer you.
This person may bring you an experience of great peace, joy, or happiness. They may empower you to do something you have never done before. They may you assurance and strengthen your self-confidence. Accept this, and embrace it. It is real. Yet, maybe for only for a season.
Consider… In life, you may have tasks on a – To Do List – as well as long-term projects that need to be pursued over a period of weeks, months, or years. In the same way, those who come into your life for a short-term Reason, may help you check something off our To Do List. Those who come into your life for a Season will remain for the duration of a more complex long-term purpose.
Some people are in your life for a LIFETIME. These people are, perhaps, the greatest blessing because they stick with you through the Reasons, Seasons, and through your entire lifetime. Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons. These are often qualities, skills, and aspects of your character you must build upon in order to have a solid foundation for yourself and in service to others. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
TODAY THANK A PERSON WHO IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER HAS BEEN PART OF YOUR LIFE
~~- even if in some small way you can make them feel that you are indeed thankful for their presence as well as the beautiful moments that they have given you.
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