Inside the Mind of Isadora


16 Comments

Weekend Humor – 6

The Helicopter Ride

Bill and his wife Blanche go to the state fair every year.

Every year, Bill would say, “Blanche, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.”

Blanche always replied, “I know Bill but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,

and fifty bucks is fifty bucks!”

One year Bill and Blanche went to the fair, and Bill said,

“Blanche, I’m 75 years old, if I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.”

To this, Blanche replied, “Bill that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.”

The pilot overheard the couple and said, “Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don’t say a word I won’t charge you a penny but if you say one word it’s fifty bucks.”

Bill and Blanche agreed; so up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.

He did his daredevil tricks over and over again but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said, “By golly, I did everything

I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I’m impressed! “

Bill replied, “Well, to tell you the truth I almost said something when

Blanche fell out, but you know, Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!“

2020©Isadora DeLaVega

 ~~~~~

Todays Thought:

Senior Texting: LMDO – laughing my dentures out

~~~~~~~~~

During our current crisis, media has become our way of communicating.

To brighten up your spirits, here is a silly bit of humor.

If you have a post with something humorous, be sure to leave it in the comment area.

I’m always up for a laugh or two. I hope you are too.

LOLOL … have a Happy Week 😎

Isadora 😎


8 Comments

Weekend Humor – 5

Pondering some Things …

 

After leaving Walgreens the other day, I started pondering about certain situations.

 ~~~~~

Why do drug stores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front counter?

~~~~~

    Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

~~~~~

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?

~~~~~

 Ever wonder why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

~~~~~

 Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

~~~~~

 Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

~~~~~

 Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?

~~~~~

 Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do ‘practice’?

~~~~~

 Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

~~~~~

 Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

2020©Isadora DeLaVega

 ~~~~~

Todays Thought:

Senior Texting: BTW – bring the wheelchair

~~~~~~~~~

Weekends used to be my downtime from social media.

During our current crisis, media has become our way of communicating.

To brighten up your spirits here is a silly bit of humor.

If you have a post with something humorous, be sure to leave it in the comment area.

I’m always up for a laugh or two. I hope you are too.

LOLOL … have a Happy Week 😎

Isadora 😎


12 Comments

Weekend Humor – 4

A Sly Old Poodle

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful, aged poodle named Cuddles along for the company. 

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long Cuddles discovers that she’s lost. Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch. 

The old poodle thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in trouble now!”

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?”

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 

“Whew!” says the leopard, “That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!”

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!”

The old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?”, but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: “Where’s that monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!”

~~~~~~~~~

Todays Thought:

Cheese that doesn’t belong to you is nacho cheese.

~~~~~~~~~

Weekends used to be my downtime from social media.

During our current crisis, media has become our way of communicating.

To brighten up your spirits here is a silly joke.

If you have a post with something humorous, be sure to leave it in the comment area.

I’m always up for a laugh or two. I hope you are too.

LOLOL … have a Happy Week 😎

Isadora 😎


11 Comments

Weekend Humor – 3

Lovemaking tips for Seniors

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write the partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember.

6. Use extra poly grip so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol or whatever you use ready in case you actually complete the
act.

8. Make all the noise you want … The neighbors are deaf,  too.

9. Don’t even think about trying it twice.

10. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news even if it is 8:00 pm.

~~~~~~~~~

Weekends used to be my downtime from social media.

During our current crisis, media has become our way of communicating.

To brighten up your spirits here is a silly joke.

If you have a post with something humorous, be sure to leave it in the comment area.

I’m always up for a laugh or two. I hope you are too.

LOLOL … have a Happy Week 😎

Isadora 😎


14 Comments

Weekend Humor – 2

The not so well known family of Vincent Van Gogh

His dizzy aunt —————————— —————– Verti Gogh

The brother who ate prunes———————— ——- Gotta Gogh

The brother who worked at a convenience store —— Stop N Gogh

The grandfather from Yugoslavia —————————– U Gogh

His magician uncle —————————— — Where-diddy Gogh

His Mexican cousin —————————— ———- A Mee Gogh

The Mexican cousin’s American half-brother ———— Gring Gogh

The nephew who drove a stagecoach ————— Wells-far Gogh

The constipated uncle —————————— ——- Kant Gogh

The ballroom dancing aunt —————————— — Tang Gogh

The bird lover uncle —————————— ——– Flamin Gogh

The fruit loving cousin —————————— —– Man Gogh

An aunt who taught positive thinking —————— Way-to-Gogh

The little bouncy nephew —————————— —– Po Gogh

A sister who loved disco —————————— ——– Go Gogh

The uncle who invented shampoo————————Wash’n Gogh

And his niece who travels the country in an RV — Winnie Bay Gogh

I saw you smiling, there you Gogh

~~~~~~~~~

Weekends used to be my downtime from social media.

During our current crisis, it has become media our way of communicating.

To brighten up your spirits here is a silly joke.

If you have a post with something humorous, be sure to leave it in the comment area.

I’m always up for a laugh or two. I hope you are too.

LOLOL … Have a Happy Weekend 😎


14 Comments

Weekend Humor

Party Hound©artist Al DeLaVega

 

Weekends used to be my downtime from social media.

During our current crisis, it has become media our way of communicating.

To enliven your spirits here is a silly joke.

If you have a post with something humorous, be sure to leave it in the comment area.

I’m always up for a laugh or two. I hope you are too.

LOLOL … Have a Happy Weekend 😎

 

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

“Well, what are you gonna do about it?” he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

“Come on, man,” the biker says, “I didn’t think you’d CRY. I can’t stand to see a man crying.”

“This is the worst day of my life,” I say.

“I’m a complete failure.

I was late for a meeting and my boss fired me.

When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don’t have any insurance.

I left my wallet in the cab I took home.

I found my wife with another man … and … then my dog bit me.

“So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.

I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve, and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!”

But hell enough about me,  How are you doing?”

~~~~~~~

When we think things can’t get any worse, there’s always something lurking.

LOLOL … 😎


14 Comments

T’was the Night before Christmas – Florida Style

Santa w-Flamingo

Florida Christmas Poem

T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the town,
No noses were frozen, nor snow on the ground.

No children in flannels were tucked into bed,
They all wore their shorty pajamas instead.

To find wreaths of holly was not very hard,
For holly trees sprouted in every backyard.

In front of the houses were daddies and moms,
Decorating hibiscus and coconut palms.

The slumbering kiddies were dreaming with glee,
Hoping to find surf boards under the tree.

They all knew that Santa was well on his way,
In a fiberglass boat instead of a sleigh.

He whizzed up the rivers, zoomed up the canals,
Delivering toys to good boys and gals.

The tropical moon gave the cities a glow,
And lit the way for Santa below.

Quite soon he arrived and started to work,
He hadn’t a second to linger or shirk.

He jumped from his boat and gave a wee chuckle,
He was dressed in deck pants, with an ivy league buckle.

There weren’t any chimneys, but that caused no gloom,
For Santa came in through the Florida room.

He stopped at each house but stayed only a minute,
As he emptied his sack of the toys that were in it.

Before he departed he had a long drink,
From the glass of fresh orange juice left by the sink.

He turned with a jerk and jumped into his boat,
Knowing that he still had more toys to tote.

He put it in gear and he opened the gas,
Then up the Peace River he went like a flash!

And I heard him exclaim as he went on his way:
“Merry Christmas, Punta Gorda, I wish I could stay …. Annonymous

Santa w- Surf Boards

This is turning into a yearly repost due to the Christmas festivities that are going on at this time.

I hope you enjoy it again. This was on the radio on Christmas Eve last year. 

Punta Gorda is a boating town 5 minutes away from me.

 

                                       Merry Christmas to all of my loyal followers.

                                     Thank you for having faith in what I do here.

                      May your hearts be filled with magical splendor of the Holiday Season.

                                         Blessings and many Hugs and Kisses to you !!!

                                                                                Isadora  😎


7 Comments

Joke – Laugh It’s Friday

New United Airlines Mottos:

“Drag and Drop”

“We put the hospital in hospitality”

“Board as a doctor, leave as a patient”

“Our prices can’t be beaten, but our passengers can”

“We have First Class, Business Class and No Class”

“Not enough seating, prepare for a beating”

“We treat you like we treat your luggage”

“We beat the customer. Not the competition”

“And you thought leg room was an issue”

“Where voluntary is mandatory”

“Fight or flight. We decide”

“Now offering one free carry off”

“Beating random customers since 2017”

“If our staff needs a seat, we’ll drag you out by your feet”

“A bloody good airline”

~~~~~

A friend sent me this joke. I thought I’d post it so you could start your weekend with a smile.

Isadora 😎


16 Comments

Joke: Life could be Worse

two-guys-in-a-bar-stock-vector-two-cartoon-men-drinking-beer-and-talking-in-the-bar-54572824

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
“Well, what are you gonna do about it?” he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
“Come on, man,” the biker says, “I didn’t think you’d CRY. I can’t stand to see a man crying.”
“This is the worst day of my life,” I say.

“I’m a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don’t have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man… and then my dog bit me.
“So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.

I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!”
But, hell, enough about me.  How are you doing?”

 

***** Goggle Image – Shutterstock


8 Comments

In Need of Humor? – Thanksgiving Groaners

 

turkey-xtgoqkzbcWhat happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks

What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
More than enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving

turkey-7takaeqqc

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
“If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy.”

What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, Hubble, Hubble.

turkey-run-turkey-time
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A turkey that can pluck itself.

turkey-thacar12

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play

What holiday do they celebrate in prison?
Shanksgiving.

What did the turkey say to the computer?
Google, google, google.

turkey-stuffed_turkey_thanksgiving_poster-rcbac8439fc4b43d1bfeadcb58db2ed07_wvk_8byvr_324
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?
The turkey because he’s already stuffed.

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.

What do you call a stuffed animal?
You after Thanksgiving.

~~~~~

If I was a turkey, I’d be doing everything I could to taste terrible right now.

Hope these gave you a chuckle
in between your hectic preparations for Thanksgiving.

Blessings to all …

Isadora  

turkey-happy-tday-8ce66bp6i

Google Images

Dreamtime Images