Inside the Mind of Isadora

Category Archives: Pnderings from Mabel


by 14 Comments

Pondering From Mabel

imagesCAYN3F15 - CopyPondering from Mabel …..

Welcome to all my returning Mabel friends.
It’s been along time since I’ve chatted with ya’ll.

This summer was brutally hot. I spent many pleasant evenings sitting out on the front porch visiting with my neighbors.

We’re fortunate here that my Assisted Living facility has a very nice olympic sized pool.

Of course, they should have a dress code for these elderly swimmers.

I declare it isn’t pretty. Well, except for cute little Mary Lou.

You remember her, she’s married to the retired doctor Wong Cho. There isn’t an ounce of fat on that pretty little thing.

Then, there’s Harper. He’s a 6’ tall, gray haired and a former olympic swimmer from his younger days.

He’s Austrian. He says they skinny dip in his country. Good Lord, whatever are they thinkin’?

I guess I should be happy he puts a speedo on.

Maybe someone oughta tell him, he isn’t so young anymore. He has more wrinkles than a white shirt waitin’ to be pressed.

As you know, it’s Autumn and the days are getting shorter and cooler. I find it real nice to sit by the lake watching the ducks and readin’ the newspaper.

This morning, I read some funny things I thought you might like.

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The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly  contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n.  The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3.  Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v.  To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj.  Impotent.

6.  Negligent, adj. Absent minded – answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v.  To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n.  Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n.  Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

12. Testicle, n.  A humorous question on an exam.

13. Rectitude, n.  The formal – dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

14. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

15. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

16. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

 ~~~~~ Life is too short to be anything but happy. ~~~~~

Come back real soon and see what else I’m pondering ….. Mabel

2014© written by Isadora

******* Mabel is a fictional character that I’ve created. Any similarities to persons are purely coincidental.


by 18 Comments

Pondering from Mabel – Ladies Luncheon

Grandma Rockin'

Things have been goin’ real well here at my new home at the assisted living. The newest thing to be added to the recreation center has been art and craft classes. Sue Anne is the teachers’ name. She has all kinds of talent. Just last week we were learnin’ how to paint a tree. She comes over to help each and every one of us.

imagesCAT7ESIKBless her heart she thought Mary Lou was drawing’ a short little tree. It turned out she was paintin’ a flower. Mary Lou’s married to Dr. Wong Cho. I mentioned him last time we visited. She doesn’t always understand what’s being said. Sweet lil thing … and she is little … just about 4 foot tall, always has a smile on her face and dresses real nice too.

Well, the girls and I got to talkin’ and decided we should do something real nice for Sue Anne. A fine welcome luncheon at the dining room seemed like a good idea. Sue Anne was tickled pink.

We dined on a green salad, creamy broccoli soup and steamed chicken with mashed potatoes while we sipped on sweet tea. We ate some key lime pie with our coffee and told a few jokes. I thought I’d share some of them with ya’ll.

Sue Anne told us she had a real good time. She wants us all to bring in some art and craft ideas for the next class. She told me she wouldn’t mind me teachin’ the class some time on how to knit. Bless her heart ….!!!!!

Live Well
Laugh Often
Love Much

  Fondly, Mabel     💗

2014©written by Isadora

imagesCAPOD2QU


‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs
and make love,’ and you answer,
‘Pick one; I can’t do both!’

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
Your friends compliment you
on your new alligator shoes
and you’re barefoot.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
A sexy babe catches your fancy
and your pacemaker opens the garage door,

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
Going braless
pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
You don’t care where your spouse goes,
just as long as you don’t have to go along.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
‘Getting a little action’
means you don’t need to take any fiber today.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
‘Getting lucky’ means you find your car
in the parking lot.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
An ‘all nighter’ means not getting up
to use the bathroom.

AND

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
You’re not sure these are jokes …..!!!!

Come back to see what else I’m pondering …..
Mabel    💗

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***** FICTION: Mabel is a ficticious character I’ve created. Any similarities to anyone living ot otherwise is purely coincidental.

****** elderly woman, tree and smiling sun images from http://www.dreamtime.com/


by 14 Comments

Pondering from Mabel – Welcome Newcomer

Grandma Rockin'

It’s been a little hectic at my new place at the assisted living home.

There was Frank who died last week. There was a nice brunch for us. Everyone talked about the way Frank always had a smile on his face. Well. If I was 94 I’d have a smile on my face too.

Mary Lou had her Whimpy pass away. He was her Siamese cat. I must say he was a real good lookin’ cat. He was always real friendly to me and I’d just met him.

Now, we’ve got this fella named Wong Cho living here. Of course, all the ladies thought they could chew his ear right off about what was ailin’ them. He wasn’t real happy about that.

He took a likin’ to me. I suppose it’s because I figured if he was such a good doctor what the heck was he doing here. If you’re old, you’re old and you’re not fixin’ anyone ‘cause you’re old.

But, my curiosity is huge. I got to thinkin’ maybe he could answer some of those questions that I’ve been thinking about.

I cornered him.

Yes, I did.

One night, over at the restaurant I invited him to sit with me.

He did.

My opportunity had arrived.

We talked.

Here’s what I found out:

Question: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
Answer: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Question: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
Answer: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Question: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
Answer: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Question: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
Answer: Can’t think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain…good!

Question: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
Answer:: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Question: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
Answer:: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Question: : Is chocolate bad for me?
Answer:: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Question: : Is swimming good for your figure?
Answer:: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Question: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
Answer: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!

Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”

AND…..

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans…

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

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Come back and see what else I’m pondering ….. Mabel   💗  

2014 © written by Isadora

***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek humor from a seniors citizens point of view.


by 11 Comments

Pondering from Mabel …. Live it up this Year

Grandma Rockin'

     Mabel says …      

I’ve been pondering this New Year, 2014 we just rang in.

I enjoyed visiting with my old friends and the new ones I’ve made here at the assisted living home.

We exchanged the best gift there is – Love.

Now, it’s time to talk about what’s ahead.

Well now, another year has passed and we’re getting older.

I remember last summer felt a lot hotter; this winter sure seems a lot colder.

I’d like to think there was a time not too long ago when life was a blast.

I’m startin’ to think I’m living in the past.

Now, Fred and I, we loved to go to weddin’s and we enjoyed football games with beer, hotdogs and good friends.

Since Fred’s been gone all I do is attend funerals and after-funeral brunches.

We used to have hangovers from all those parties and life was merry.

Now, it’s just body aches and hot bathtub soaks.

We used to go out dining and have our fill. Nowadays, I get a doggie bag, with no dog to feed; then, go home and take a pill.

We used to travel to all kinds of places near and far. Today, I couldn’t sit too long without havin’ sores on my derriere.

Yes, Fred and I could dance up a storm and drink a little booze. Of course, now the only thing I drink is milk shakes and watch a bit of the evening news.

That my friends’ is how life is and it’s no tale if the truth be told.

So, enjoy each day and live it up… Before you’re too damned old!

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  ~ And, Remember ~

Today is ours for joy and mirth; 

We may be sad tomorrow; 

Then let us sing for all we’re worth, 

Nor give a thought to sorrow

No one knows what lies along the way; 

Let’s smile what smiles we can today.

                                                 Fondly,

                                                                         Mabel    💗

 2014© written by Isadora

***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek humor from a seniors citizens point of view.


by 25 Comments

Pondering of Mabel

Grandma Rockin' Mabel says ….

I have some thoughts I’ve discovered now that I’m older…

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

5. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It’s a lot easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck did stop here; I sure could use a few.

10. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the
bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything,
but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.

Come back and see what else I’m pondering  …..

Mabel    💗

***** FICTION: Mabel is a ficticious character I’ve created. Any similarities to anyone living ot otherwise is purely coincidental.