Inside the Mind of Isadora


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Pondering from Mabel – Aids Warning

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It’s been real nice down by the lake now that Spring is around the corner. The swans are swimming ‘round in circles, dancing to the sound of the waterfall. They keep this assisted living facility real nice for us folks.

Just yesterday, Bubba came by when I was watchin’ them and told me he liked watching the swans too. “It’s real peaceful”, he said. I told you about Bubba last time we visited. He’s taken a likin’ to me. Bless his heart. I enjoy talking to him but my Fred has my heart and I still miss him.

We talked about ole crabby George. He was taken from his place a few days after our Valentine’s Day dance. Looks like he had prostrate cancer. We wondered why he’d gotten so thin. He was a grumpy ole codger. Didn’t like talkin’ to folks. He made a fuss about everything. But, no reason to talk ill of the dead. We both figured he might be happier now. Well, enough of that sad talk.

Bubba’s a funny guy. He’s always tellin’ me jokes. I thought you might like hearin’ one.  Here goes:

~~~~~~~~ There’s an Aid’s Warning out ~~~~~~~~

To all of you approaching 55 years or older – this is a warning for you
Seniors are the leading carriers of AIDS!!!
Gardening aids
Hearing aids
Band Aids
Walking aids
Medical Aids
most of all Monetary Aids for their kids.
Not forgetting HIV …. Hair is Vanishing!!!
And finally, the most dreadful Aids : Acute Income Deficiency Syndrome

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wasn’t that funny? I love seein’ my friends here at the assisted living home smilin’.
Heck, if we can’t laugh at ourselves than we’re really old farts. Tell someone a joke from time to time. It makes the day go better when we can see ourselves in a humorous way.

Come back and see what else I’m pondering …..
Live Life, Mabel
2015©isadoradelavega

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

 Life is too short to be anything but happy. 

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***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life

with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.

A few other Ponderings from Mabel:

 Pondering from Mabel – Love is in the Air at my assisted Living

Pondering from Mabel – Recalling Love and Marriage

Pondering from Mabel – Be Kind to the Elderly

 


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Pondering from Mabel – Happy Thanksgiving to Ya’ll

Grandma Rockin'
I’ve been havin’ the grandest time, today. We’d been told last week to be sure to invite family and friends for a special Thanksgiving dinner and show celebration.

Many of the residents don’t have family livin’ close by. We were asked to invite them to sit with our families. Naturally, I invited my good friend, Barbara. Her daughter, husband and grandkids live in Colorado. Unfortunately, they had a bunch of snow and had to cancel their flight. She’ll be joining them for Christmas.

Then, there is the good doctor Wong Cho and his wife, Mary Lou. She’s been under the weather some. It’s her arthritis. Tiny little thing. She always looks real pretty. Her children are traveling overseas right now. They’ll be traveling to San Francisco when they return to celebrate Christmas.

My Tessa came by early this morning and managed to make these slinky threads on my head look real nice. She brought me a special dress to wear too. She’s a good girl. Her husband, Orville, would be meetin’ us at the dining room later.

There was a big crowd when we arrived at the beautifully decorated dining room. The fall colors were a feast for the eyes. The traditional Thanksgiving food was real good too. There was no shortage of conversation. Then, the social director announced we were going to have a gal by the name of Donnalou Stevens sing a few songs for us. This video is the one I enjoyed the most. I hope you do too.

Older Ladies by Donnalou Stevens

Right after, Donnalou, there was a comedian named Ralph Gilman who came out to keep us laughing.
I had Tessa write down some of his quick one liners for me.
Enjoy !!!!!

Q. Name the four seasons.
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. How is dew formed?
A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What  guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
(Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q… What happens to your body as you age?
A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
(So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
A.. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A.. Keep it in the cow  (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen)
A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.

The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs

and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U (wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A.. A small lie.

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A.. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
(That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q. What is a seizure?
A.. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
(Irrefutable)

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
(brilliant)

Grateful in Our Own Design

I love to see my friends here at the assisted living home smile and laugh.
We sure did that today.
Heck, if we can’t laugh at ourselves than we’re really old farts.
Tell someone a joke from time to time.
It makes the day go better when we can see ourselves in a humorous way.
Happy Thanksgiving Folks …. !!!!
Hugs,  Mabel  🌻

2014©Isadora

  ***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.  


26 Comments

Pondering from Mabel – Punography

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Mabel says ….

There was a lecture on Friday at the recreation center here at my assisted living facility. It was called ‘How to keep your brain young’.

Can you imagine having a young brain in an old body? I just about fell off my chair when I heard the real nice fella say that.

His name was Howard Hall. He wanted us to call him HH. Did he think we’d forget his name?

He said we could keep our brains from slowly dying. Well, I suppose those weren’t his exact words. It doesn’t matter. He said he wanted us to do things with our brains so we could stay more alert.

It got me to thinkin’ about all those books I used to read when Fred and I lived on the farm.

I could read a book in one night if I wasn’t tired from workin’ on the farm all day.

We didn’t have television or computers then. No, we didn’t.

In fact, some folks didn’t have electricity on their farms.

Nope … just a lantern and the light of the moon.

We’d sit out on the front porch and look up at the moon

while we listened to the crickets playing their nightly song.

People did a lot more talkin’ and I guess a lot more spooning.

I like readin’ the newspaper in the morning with my cup of tea.

I know it has lots of bad news in it but I find some fun things too.

I always like to do the crossword puzzle.

The colorful funnies are good for a laugh or two.

Now, I’ve discovered some word fun is being added from time to time.

Here’s some Punography I read today.

PUNOGRAPHY ….

I tried to catch some fog. I mist. ·

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

 A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

 I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

 I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

 I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

 They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

This dyslexic man walks into a bra .

 PMS jokes aren’t funny, period.

 I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils? ·

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

 What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

 Broken pencils are pointless.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

 I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

 I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro – what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

I hope you had a good laugh. I did.

Comeback and see what else I’m pondering ….. Mabel    💗

2014©Isadora  

***** FICTION: Mabel is a ficticious character I’ve created. Any similarities to anyone living ot otherwise is purely coincidental.


22 Comments

Pondering from Mabel ….

Grandma Rockin'Pondering from Mabel ….

CAUTION – ADULT HUMOR

Mabel says ….
A Fairytale about Cinderella … Watch What You Ask For

Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.

One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?”

The Fairy Godmother replied, “Well, Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?”

Cinderella is overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish:

“I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension.”

Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold.

Cinderella was stunned. Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear.

Cinderella said, “Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother!”
The Fairy Godmother replied, “It’s the least I can do. What does your heart wish for your second wish?”

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, “I wish I were young and full of the beauty of youth again.”

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage returned.

Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years and long forgotten vigor and vitality began to course through her very soul.

Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke. “You have one more wish, what will you have?” Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said, “I wish you to transform Alan my old cat into a beautiful, and handsome young man.”

Magically, Alan suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up, that when complete he stood before her, a boy, so beautiful the like of which she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds begun to fall from the sky at his feet.

The Fairy Godmother again spoke. “Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life.” And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone.

For a few eerie moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other’s eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen.

Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms.

He leaned in close to her ear, whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath, “I bet you regret having me neutered now, don’t you?

Into each life a little humor shall enter – Mabel’s way

Come back and see what else I’ve been ponderings ….
Mabel  💗

 ***** FICTION: Mabel is a ficticious character I’ve created. Any similarities to anyone living ot otherwise is purely coincidental.


10 Comments

Pondering from Mabel ….

Grandma Rockin'Mabel says ….

I have some things I’ve been ‘Pondering’ about Texting for Seniors …

The kids have all their texting codes…like

BFF (best friends forever)

WTF (what the f***?)

LOL (laughing out loud)

 

So why not some codes for seniors:

ATD – At the Doctor’s

BFF – Best Friends Funeral

BTW – Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM – Covered by Medicare

CUATSC – See You at the Senior Center

FWIW – Forgot Where I Was

FYI – Found Your Insulin

GGPBL – Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA – Got Heartburn Again

HGBM – Had Good Bowel Movement

IMHO – Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO – Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL – Living on Lipitor

LWO – Lawrence Welk’s On

OMSG – Oh My! Sorry, Gas

ROFL…CGU – Rolling on the Floor Laughing…Can’t get Up!

WAITT – Who Am I Talking To?

WTFA – Wet the Furniture Again

WTP – Where’s the Prunes

WWNO – Walker Wheels Need Oil

GGLKI – Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!

DTAF – Don’t Trust A Fart

Come back and see what else Mabel’s been ponderings ….
Mabel     💗


***** FICTION: 
Mabel is a ficticious character I’ve created. Any similarities to anyone living ot otherwise is purely coincidental.