Three sisters age 92, 94, and 96 live in a house together.
One night, the 96-year-old sister draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses.
She yells down the stairs, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?”
The 94-year-old sister yells back, “I don’t know, I’ll come up and see.”
She starts up the stairs and pauses, then she yells, “Was I going up the stairs or coming down?”
The 92-year-old sister was sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says,“I sure hope I never get that forgetful.”She knocks on wood for good measure.
She, then, yells,“I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I seewho’s at the door.”
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors
and lawyers.
One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They
discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who moved to Florida.
The first said, “You know I had a big house built for Mama.”
The second said, “And, I had a large theater built in the house.”
The third said, “And, I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her.”
The fourth said, “You know how Mama loved reading the Bible, and you know she can’t read anymore because she can’t see very well. Well, I met this preacher who told me about a parrot who could recite the entire Bible. It took ten preachers almost 8 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $50,000 a year for five years to the church but it was worth it.
Mama only has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it.”
The three other brothers were impressed. After the celebration, Mama sent out her “Thank You” notes.
She wrote:
Milton, the house you built is so huge that I live in only one room but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway.”
“Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home. I have my groceries delivered so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks.”
“Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound and it can hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I’ve lost my hearing,
and I’m nearly blind. I’ll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the
same.”
“Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you so much.”
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question.
He tapped him on the shoulder.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
For a few seconds, everything was silent in the cab.
Then, the still shaking driver said, “I’m sorry but you scared the daylights out of me.”
The frightened passenger apologized to the driver. He said, “I didn’t realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten you so much.”
The driver replied, “No, no, I’m sorry, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.”
Smile – for it takes less muscles to smile than frown
Inside the Mind of Isadora 