assisted living | Inside the Mind of Isadora

February 17, 2016
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 12 Comments

Pondering from Mabel

If you haven’t read my pondering words before, you’ve been missin’ a great deal of wisdom.
I’ve been a little under the weather. Don’t get your panties in a knot. I’m not skipping out on this life just yet. I just needed a little rest.

A bunch of my fellow nursing home friends have gone to that special place in the sky. It’s a little different when you’re on a farm. News about things like that are heard at church. You know, the minister announces so-and-so has left us to be with his/ her maker. Here at my beautiful assisted living home, we hear about it more often than we’d like.

Just yesterday, I heard about my fellow resident, George Grapple, passing on due to Parkinson’s Disease. A nervous system disorder marked by tremors, muscular rigidity, and slow, imprecise movement. It robs your body of its stability. His illness was made a lot worse because he had Alzheimers too. Why – I remember when he lost his way back to his place from the dining room one evening. He was found lying in Lorna Mae’s bed. She just about wet her pants when she saw him there. Good golly, you’d da thought he could have done something. Lordy, God rest his soul. Poor darhlin’ …!!!!

But, I’ve got some other things on my mind. Like, Valentine’s Day. It was last Sunday.

Fred was a hopelessly-in-love kinda man. He was a bit rough around the edges. He wasn’t a candles or wine kinda guy. No, he was a farmer with farmer ways. He knew how to let me know he was thinking about me even when it wasn’t an assigned day.
Nope, it wasn’t just a one-day-a-year sorta thing for him.

He brought me wildflowers all the time. The kind that aren’t all the same size or shade of color like the store bought ones. The pretty ribbons he bought me at the general store were perfect for my hair when we went to Sunday sermon. A basket of fresh vegetables and fruits were a tasty unexpected treat when he came home at the end of a long day. The fruit made the best homemade pies. Mmmm … I can smell the aroma of hot apples and cinnamon from the pies that came out of the oven.

Have you been speakin’ loving words everyday to your honey?
Have you been bringing her some wildflowers not the store bought kind?
How about the hot bath you can run for her after a long worn-out-of-her-skin day?
Have you been takin’ the kids for the day so she can sit-a-spell?
How about a homemade meal when she comes in the door after work?

It isn’t the cards or the chocolates you bring her that make for a loving kinda love.
Nope, it’s the thoughtful things that make a woman feel the tenderness that her man can bring.

Fred and I would sit out on the front porch and look up at the moon while we listened to the crickets playing their nightly song. People did a lot more talkin’ and I guess a lot more spooning.

I was readin’ the newspaper this morning with my cup of tea. The colorful funnies are real good for a laugh or two. But today, I discovered some lovemaking tips of seniors.

I hope you have a good laugh. I did.

Comeback and see what else I’m pondering …..
Mabel 💗

2016©Isadora DeLaVega

***** FICTION: Mabel is a ficticious character I’ve created. Any similarities to anyone living or otherwise is purely coincidental.

Lovemaking Tips for Seniors

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write the partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember…

6. Use extra poly grip so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol or whatever you use ready in case you actually complete the
act…

8. Make all the noise you want… The neighbors are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news … even if its
8PM… !!

10. Don’t even think about trying it twice.

March 26, 2015
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 30 Comments

Pondering from Mabel – Why did the Chicken cross the Road?

You can’t miss seeing Spring here at my assisted living home. The gardeners have
been out there planting lots of flowers and hosta ground cover to showcase a picture
perfect painting of Spring.

Recently, the farmer’s market has been coming to our facility
every Thursday. I look forward to it. I can get fresh fruits and vegetables. When Fred and I
lived on the farm, we never had to buy much. Whatever we didn’t grow our neighbors grew.
We shared the fruits of our labors. Our chickens produced the biggest and best tasting eggs.
Fred was big on breakfast. Everyday, he’d have 4 eggs and a big slice of fresh ham. He loved
to soak up my homemade gravy with biscuits. If there wasn’t a biscuit on his plate he knew
I was sick.It was healthier eatin’ then.

Some of the students over at the Trade School have been coming to our
facility on Wednesday’s to give us free hairstyles. Bless their hearts for doing that.
The teacher says we’re helpin’ them to perfect their skill. Of course, we always give them
a little something for their good work.

Now, who doesn’t like to get dolled up?

They gave Mary Lou Cho a cute little bob cut. Her hair is real shiny and moves as she walks.
She’s a tiny little thing. It fits her real well. They gave Audra Bodinet a perm of curls.
Her grey hair is as fluffy as a cotton ball. It looks real pretty and suits her well.Now me,
I’ve been wearing my hair in an upswept bun for years.I wasn’t about to change that. But, this charmin’ young gal made my traditional hairstyle look real modern by the time she was done.

My friends and I decided we’d add lunch to our afternoon. This way we’d be able to show offer
new hairstyles. We got to talkin’ about the farmer’s market and how much we enjoy the fresh
tastin’ foods. When I mentioned our fresh eggs at the farm Audra wanted to know if we could
remember some of those ‘Why did the chicken cross the road jokes?

We did …. here are some of them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:  The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN McCAIN:  My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road!

HILLARY CLINTON:  When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me …..

DR. PHIL:  The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.

OPRAH:  Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…

ANDERSON COOPER – CNN:  We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

  JOHN KERRY:  Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:  That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:  To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:  No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:  Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:  To die in the rain. Alone.

BARBARA WALTERS:  Isn’t that interwesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, forw the firwst time, the heart warming storwy of how it experienced a serwious case of mowlting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dweam of cwossing the woad.

  ARISTOTLE:  It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:  I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@*&^(C% ………reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:  Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

  BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:  I invented the chicken!

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I hope you had another FUN visit with me today.
Ya’ll come back and visit to see what else I’m pondering.
Live Live, Mabel

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything,
but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
2015©isadoradelavega

***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.

Want more Pondering by Mabel

Pondering from Mabel – Ladies Luncheon

Pondering from Mabel – Aids Warning

March 18, 2015
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 28 Comments

Pondering from Mabel – Aids Warning

It’s been real nice down by the lake now that Spring is around the corner. The swans are swimming ‘round in circles, dancing to the sound of the waterfall. They keep this assisted living facility real nice for us folks.

Just yesterday, Bubba came by when I was watchin’ them and told me he liked watching the swans too. “It’s real peaceful”, he said. I told you about Bubba last time we visited. He’s taken a likin’ to me. Bless his heart. I enjoy talking to him but my Fred has my heart and I still miss him.

We talked about ole crabby George. He was taken from his place a few days after our Valentine’s Day dance. Looks like he had prostrate cancer. We wondered why he’d gotten so thin. He was a grumpy ole codger. Didn’t like talkin’ to folks. He made a fuss about everything. But, no reason to talk ill of the dead. We both figured he might be happier now. Well, enough of that sad talk.

Bubba’s a funny guy. He’s always tellin’ me jokes. I thought you might like hearin’ one. Here goes:

~~~~~~~~ There’s an Aid’s Warning out ~~~~~~~~

To all of you approaching 55 years or older – this is a warning for you
Seniors are the leading carriers of AIDS!!!
Gardening aids
Hearing aids
Band Aids
Walking aids
Medical Aids
most of all Monetary Aids for their kids.
Not forgetting HIV …. Hair is Vanishing!!!
And finally, the most dreadful Aids : Acute Income Deficiency Syndrome

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Wasn’t that funny? I love seein’ my friends here at the assisted living home smilin’.
Heck, if we can’t laugh at ourselves than we’re really old farts. Tell someone a joke from time to time. It makes the day go better when we can see ourselves in a humorous way.

Come back and see what else I’m pondering …..
Live Life, Mabel
2015©isadoradelavega

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

Life is too short to be anything but happy.

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***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life

with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.

A few other Ponderings from Mabel:

Pondering from Mabel – Love is in the Air at my assisted Living

Pondering from Mabel – Recalling Love and Marriage

Pondering from Mabel – Be Kind to the Elderly

March 2, 2015
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 22 Comments

Pondering From Mabel – Be Kind to the Elderly

The last time we visited, I told you about our Valentine’s Day dinner/dance. Dinner was real good especially the red velvet cake. There was a fine group playing some of our favorite songs. I kicked up my heels – well, not quite heels – but my dance card was full all night. All the ladies were given a red rose while the men were given a box of chocolate hearts. Bubba gave me his box. I think he’s smitten with me. No brag just fact.

Did I tell ya’ll about Bubba before? Lord knows I can’t recall yesterdays lunch.

He’s a nice ol’ country boy from my neck of the woods. His names Robert but he likes us to call him Bubba. A really big burly boy with the heart of a lamb. We kicked up some dust on the dance floor with a 2 step. By 10:00 p.m., I was ready to get to my assisted living place and get me some sleep.

The next mornin’ the mild weather was calling me to walk around the lake. I reached my little spot with the wooden bench overlookin’ the swans. It was real pleasant watchin’ them glide on the water.

Mary Lou and her daughter, Mae Lou, came by a while later. She a good girl to Mary Lou. Bless her heart. She’d been traveling through Asia and hadn’t seen her Daddy, Dr.Wong Cho and her mother for quite some time. She started telling us a heartbreaking story that urged her to visit her mother and daddy. Thank you, Mae Lou, for letting me write this here story for the folks who come and visit with Mabel. Bless your heart.

If you read this and have parents …. be kind to them.
If you read this and don’t have parents alive …. praise them.
If you read this and you’re heart isn’t touched …. reexamine your humaneness.

Lord knows none of us want to be a burden to anyone.

Our bodies defy us into people we never believed we’d ever be.

Love us just the same.

Be the candle of love and light that shines in the hearts of those you call mother and daddy.
Live Life, Mabel
2015©isadoradelavega

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The Wooden Bowl

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law and four-year-old grandson.
The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his steps faltered.

The family always ate together at the table. But, the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.
When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the messes.
‘We must do something about father,’ said the son.
‘I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.’

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner of the dining room.
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner together.
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two his food was, now, served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction; sometimes, he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.

Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.
He asked the child sweetly, ‘What are you making?’
Just as sweetly, the boy responded, ‘Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up. ‘Then, the four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then, tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days, he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

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If this touched your heart and means something to you let others know … reblog!!!

To All Of Your Friends and Everyone You Love!

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***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life

with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.

More – Pondering from Mabel:

Pondering from Mabel – Love is in the Air at my Assisted Living

Pondering from Mabel – Recalling Love and Marriage

February 9, 2015
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 23 Comments

Pondering from Mabel – Love is in the Air at my Assisted Living

WARNING: BLUE HUMOR

Pondering from Mabel – Love is in the Air at my Assisted Living

imagesCAYN3F15 - Copy

I’m sure you know that Valentine’s Day is just a few days away.

Love is in the air, ’cause they’re puttin’ up those

bright red hearts and balloons for our Valentine Dinner and Dance on Saturday.

I don’t know if my husband, Fred, would have been involved

with all of the celebratin’ we do here. I suppose they’re afraid we might get bored.

They have a gal from the local beauty salon donatin’ her time to doll us all up.

Bless her heart. It should go real quick considerin’ most of us have hair so thin you can see our scalps.

You get to be our age and you don’t rightly care. No sir, breathin’ is the most important.

Of course, sweet little Mary Lou Cho wears one of them new hair wigs.

She always looks real nice. Tiny little thing. I suppose her vanity has her going through all that work.

Ya’ll remember, 91 year old, Willie gettin’ lost on New year’s eve, don’t ya?

If you missed it, you can check here to read all about his foolery.

I got to pondering that, maybe, I should write about something

Seniors should be thinkin’ about for after our Valentine Dance.

I plan on dancing ’til dawn. I hope ya’ll have a real nice Valentine’s Day.

Ccome back and visit real soon.

 Live Life,
Mabel

Lovemaking Tips for Seniors  

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

  4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

  5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember.

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.

  7. Have Tylenol or whatever you use ready in case you actually complete the  act.

8. Make all the noise you want … The neighbors are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news … even if its 8PM… !!

10. Don’t even think about trying it twice.

Remember Old is When

  ’OLD’ IS WHEN…  Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love,’ and you answer, ‘Pick one;

I can’t do both!’  ’OLD’ IS WHEN…  Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.  

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…  Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

  ’OLD’ IS WHEN…  You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.  

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…  ’Getting a little action’ means you don’t need to take a laxative today.  

‘OLD’ IS WHEN….  ’Getting Lucky’ means you find your car in the parking lot.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…  An ‘all nighter’ means not getting up to use the bathroom.

  ’OLD’ IS WHEN….  You’re not sure if these are facts or jokes.            

***** Mabel is a fiction character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.
 

January 14, 2015
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 24 Comments

Pondering from Mabel – Recalling Love and Marriage

I’m just about worn out from all the celebratin’ we had going on here at my assisted living home for the holidays. The dining hall was lit up real pretty and everyone was in a festive mood.

My daughter, Tessa, wanted to celebrate New Year’s with me but I wouldn’t have it. She was here for Christmas and that was good enough. Besides, I didn’t want her and her husband, Orville, on the road on a dangerous night like that. She’s so sweet though, bless her heart.

On New Year’s eve, there were fireworks at dusk over the fountain in the man-made lake. Of course, no one would have made it to midnight.

There was a bit of fireworks over at Melba’s place right after. It looks like Willie was a bit disoriented and wound up at Melba’s place. What made it hilarious was that Willie wouldn’t get out of her bed and kept saying, “Come to bed, Honey.” At 91 years young, I think Willie was confused about how well his willie was going to do. Everyone had a good laugh about it and Melba’s dignity was restored the next day.

When all that happened, I recalled an article I had read when I was younger about Love and Marriage.

Here’s what I remember from it ….

Love & Marriage 
Love is holding hands in the street.

 Marriage is holding arguments in the street.  

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant .

Marriage is a take home box.  

Love is cuddling on a sofa.

 Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.  

Love is talking about having children. 

Marriage is talking about how to get away from children.

  Love is going to bed early. 

Marriage is going to sleep early.  

Love is a romantic drive.

 Marriage is never making it into the car for a drive.  

Love is losing your appetite. 

Marriage is losing your figure.  

Love is sweet nothings’ in the ear. 

Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

  Love is never watching TV. 

Marriage is a fight for the remote control.  

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. 

Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!”.  

Conclusion:  ”Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!!!”

Hope your year 2015 is a good one ….
Live Life
Hugs, Mabel

***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.

November 16, 2014
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 26 Comments

Pondering from Mabel – Punography

 Mabel says ….

There was a lecture on Friday at the recreation center here at my assisted living facility. It was called ‘How to keep your brain young’.

Can you imagine having a young brain in an old body? I just about fell off my chair when I heard the real nice fella say that.

His name was Howard Hall. He wanted us to call him HH. Did he think we’d forget his name?

He said we could keep our brains from slowly dying. Well, I suppose those weren’t his exact words. It doesn’t matter. He said he wanted us to do things with our brains so we could stay more alert.

It got me to thinkin’ about all those books I used to read when Fred and I lived on the farm.

I could read a book in one night if I wasn’t tired from workin’ on the farm all day.

We didn’t have television or computers then. No, we didn’t.

In fact, some folks didn’t have electricity on their farms.

Nope … just a lantern and the light of the moon.

We’d sit out on the front porch and look up at the moon

while we listened to the crickets playing their nightly song.

People did a lot more talkin’ and I guess a lot more spooning.

I like readin’ the newspaper in the morning with my cup of tea.

I know it has lots of bad news in it but I find some fun things too.

I always like to do the crossword puzzle.

The colorful funnies are good for a laugh or two.

Now, I’ve discovered some word fun is being added from time to time.

Here’s some Punography I read today.

PUNOGRAPHY ….

I tried to catch some fog. I mist. ·

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

This dyslexic man walks into a bra .

PMS jokes aren’t funny, period.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils? ·

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro – what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

I hope you had a good laugh. I did.

Comeback and see what else I’m pondering ….. Mabel 💗

2014©Isadora

***** FICTION: Mabel is a ficticious character I’ve created. Any similarities to anyone living ot otherwise is purely coincidental.

October 28, 2013
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 32 Comments

Pondering from Mabel

Pondering from Mabel ….

My young daughter, Tessa, found this very nice assisted living facility for me. Bless her heart. I have to admit I wasn’t happy about leaving the farmhouse Fred and I lived in for 40 years. Oh, this place is nice enough but there aren’t any memories here.
She said it would help take away some of her concerns about my safety. They thought of everything here. There is a dining hall, tennis courts, walking and bicycle paths, swimming pool, exercise facility plus arts and crafts. Each room in my place is equipped with buttons on the wall for emergencies. You know, ‘I’ve fallen and I can’t get up’ buttons.

Tessa still calls and is fussing every day.

She wants to know if I’ve joined any groups.

Have I made any friends?

Am I pleased with the food they serve?

I think she’s a bit of a worrier.

The next time Tessa called I was ready. I told her I had thought about her concerns and decided to go over to that recreation center and sign up for something. I told her I had joined a group. She was tickled pink and wanted to know what it was.

I said, “It’s a skydiving group”.

“Mother, she exclaimed. You’re 84 years old. Why would you join a skydiving group? It’s dangerous. You can’t jump out of planes.”

Oh my, I said. And I’ve signed up for 7 lessons with this mile high club”.

THUMP …..

I guess I’ve gone a little too far.

Into each life a little humor shall enter –
Mabel’s way

Come back and see what else I’ve been ponderings ….

Mabel 💗

***** FICTION: Mabel is a fictitious character I’ve created. Any similarities to anyone living ot otherwise is purely coincidental.