Inside the Mind of Isadora


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Pondering from Mabel – Welcome Newcomer

Grandma Rockin'

It’s been a little hectic at my new place at the assisted living home.

There was Frank who died last week. There was a nice brunch for us. Everyone talked about the way Frank always had a smile on his face. Well. If I was 94 I’d have a smile on my face too.

Mary Lou had her Whimpy pass away. He was her Siamese cat. I must say he was a real good lookin’ cat. He was always real friendly to me and I’d just met him.

Now, we’ve got this fella named Wong Cho living here. Of course, all the ladies thought they could chew his ear right off about what was ailin’ them. He wasn’t real happy about that.

He took a likin’ to me. I suppose it’s because I figured if he was such a good doctor what the heck was he doing here. If you’re old, you’re old and you’re not fixin’ anyone ‘cause you’re old.

But, my curiosity is huge. I got to thinkin’ maybe he could answer some of those questions that I’ve been thinking about.

I cornered him.

Yes, I did.

One night, over at the restaurant I invited him to sit with me.

He did.

My opportunity had arrived.

We talked.

Here’s what I found out:

Question: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
Answer: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Question: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
Answer: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Question: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
Answer: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Question: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
Answer: Can’t think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain…good!

Question: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
Answer:: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Question: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
Answer:: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Question: : Is chocolate bad for me?
Answer:: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Question: : Is swimming good for your figure?
Answer:: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Question: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
Answer: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!

Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”

AND…..

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans…

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

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Come back and see what else I’m pondering ….. Mabel   💗  

2014 © written by Isadora

***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek humor from a seniors citizens point of view.


11 Comments

Pondering from Mabel …. Live it up this Year

Grandma Rockin'

     Mabel says …      

I’ve been pondering this New Year, 2014 we just rang in.

I enjoyed visiting with my old friends and the new ones I’ve made here at the assisted living home.

We exchanged the best gift there is – Love.

Now, it’s time to talk about what’s ahead.

Well now, another year has passed and we’re getting older.

I remember last summer felt a lot hotter; this winter sure seems a lot colder.

I’d like to think there was a time not too long ago when life was a blast.

I’m startin’ to think I’m living in the past.

Now, Fred and I, we loved to go to weddin’s and we enjoyed football games with beer, hotdogs and good friends.

Since Fred’s been gone all I do is attend funerals and after-funeral brunches.

We used to have hangovers from all those parties and life was merry.

Now, it’s just body aches and hot bathtub soaks.

We used to go out dining and have our fill. Nowadays, I get a doggie bag, with no dog to feed; then, go home and take a pill.

We used to travel to all kinds of places near and far. Today, I couldn’t sit too long without havin’ sores on my derriere.

Yes, Fred and I could dance up a storm and drink a little booze. Of course, now the only thing I drink is milk shakes and watch a bit of the evening news.

That my friends’ is how life is and it’s no tale if the truth be told.

So, enjoy each day and live it up… Before you’re too damned old!

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  ~ And, Remember ~

Today is ours for joy and mirth; 

We may be sad tomorrow; 

Then let us sing for all we’re worth, 

Nor give a thought to sorrow

No one knows what lies along the way; 

Let’s smile what smiles we can today.

                                                 Fondly,

                                                                         Mabel    💗

 2014© written by Isadora

***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek humor from a seniors citizens point of view.


16 Comments

Pondering from Mabel

Grandma Rockin'
 Mabel says ….

This mornin’ while on my way to the dining hall here at my new assisted living home I noticed some things I ought warn you ‘bout.

THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!

I noticed that stairs are getting steeper. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday, I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long my street had become.

People are less considerate now; especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face.

What do they think I’m a lip reader?

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days. You’re risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn’t even recognize me. I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning.

So, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLY NOW – even mirrors – aren’t made the way they used to be!

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days, too.

Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20?

Do they think no one notices this?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank.

Do they think I actually ‘believe’ the number I see on that dial?

HA! I would never let myself weigh that much!

Just who do these people think they’re fooling?

I’d like to call up someone in authority to report what’s going on but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too. They’ve printed the phone books in such a small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

All I can do is pass along this warning:

WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful
indignities.

Into each life a little humor shall enter …!!!

Come back and see what else I’ve been pondering …
Mabel    💗

2013©Isadora

***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek humor from a seniors citizens point of view.


26 Comments

Pondering from Mabel

Grandma Rockin'

Mabel says ….
I have some things I’ve been ‘Pondering’

1. Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
I guess that’s why many people pick out the clothes they want to be buried in. I notice serviceman like to wear their uniforms. Assuming you’re going to heaven, is there a need for security there?

2. Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? I was confused while singing it in the shower one day. Yes, I sing in the shower.
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

3. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? I know as we age we can be a frightening sight. But, aren’t they going to see you naked anyway???

4. Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours? I notice sleeping isn’t what it used to be. I’m awake more. Am I turning into a baby again?

You know, now that I’m older. . . Time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.

Come back and see what else Mabel’s been ponderings
Mabel


***** FICTION – Mabel is a character I’ve created from the experiences I’ve encountered with many elderly people who live in the Sunshine State of Florida.


24 Comments

Pondering from Mabel

Grandma Rockin'

Mabel says ….
I have some Retired Health Messages I’ve been ‘Pondering’

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I realized that there are a few things that don’t make sense to me.

For example –

1. If walking is good for your health then why isn’t the postman immortal? I’ve never seen an old postman. Have you?

2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish and drinks lots of water but is still fat. Is it a slow metabolism?

3. A rabbit runs and hops all day and only lives 15 years. A tortoise doesn’t run and, mostly, does nothing; yet, lives to 150 years old. It must be those naps he’s been taking that are helping him live longer.

I think it’s the tortoise life for me.

Come back and see what else I’ll be ponderings …..

Mabel 💗

***** Mabel is a ficticious character I’ve created. Any similarities to anyone living or not is purely coincidental.

 

image credit- http://www.dreamtime.com/