Inside the Mind of Isadora


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Pondering from Mabel – Why did the Chicken cross the Road?

imagesCAYN3F15

You can’t miss seeing Spring here at my assisted living home. The gardeners have
been out there planting lots of flowers and hosta ground cover to showcase a picture
perfect painting of Spring.

Recently, the farmer’s market has been coming to our facility
every Thursday. I look forward to it. I can get fresh fruits and vegetables. When Fred and I
lived on the farm, we never had to buy much. Whatever we didn’t grow our neighbors grew.
We shared the fruits of our labors. Our chickens produced the biggest and best tasting eggs.
Fred was big on breakfast. Everyday, he’d have 4 eggs and a big slice of fresh ham. He loved
to soak up my homemade gravy with biscuits. If there wasn’t a biscuit on his plate he knew
I was sick.It was healthier eatin’ then.

Some of the students over at the Trade School have been coming to our
facility on Wednesday’s to give us free hairstyles. Bless their hearts for doing that.
The teacher says we’re helpin’ them to perfect their skill. Of course, we always give them
a little something for their good work.

Now, who doesn’t like to get dolled up?

They gave Mary Lou Cho a cute little bob cut. Her hair is real shiny and moves as she walks.
She’s a tiny little thing. It fits her real well. They gave Audra Bodinet a perm of curls.
Her grey hair is as fluffy as a cotton ball. It looks real pretty and suits her well.Now me,
I’ve been wearing my hair in an upswept bun for years.I wasn’t about to change that. But, this charmin’ young gal made my traditional hairstyle look real modern by the time she was done.

My friends and I decided we’d add lunch to our afternoon. This way we’d be able to show offer
new hairstyles. We got to talkin’ about the farmer’s market and how much we enjoy the fresh
tastin’ foods. When I mentioned our fresh eggs at the farm Audra wanted to know if we could
remember some of those ‘Why did the chicken cross the road jokes?

We did …. here are some of them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Chicken - Walking

BARACK OBAMA:
 The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!   The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN McCAIN:
 My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road!

HILLARY CLINTON:
 When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me …..

Chicken walking - 2

DR. PHIL:
 The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.

OPRAH:
 Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

Chicken walking - 3

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…

ANDERSON COOPER – CNN: 
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.



JOHN KERRY:
 Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

Chicken walking - Safe sign

NANCY GRACE:
 That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
 To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
 No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
 Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: 
To die in the rain. Alone.

Chicken walking - thumbs up

BARBARA WALTERS: 
Isn’t that interwesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, forw the firwst time, the heart warming storwy of how it experienced a serwious case of mowlting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dweam of cwossing the woad.



ARISTOTLE:
 It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

Chicken walking - goofey - 4

BILL GATES: 
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@*&^(C% ………reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
 Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

 

BILL CLINTON
: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
 I invented the chicken!

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I hope you had another FUN visit with me today.
Ya’ll come back and visit to see what else I’m pondering.
Live Live, Mabel

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything,
but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
2015©isadoradelavega

  ***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.   

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Pondering From Mabel

imagesCAYN3F15 - CopyPondering from Mabel …..

Welcome to all my returning Mabel friends.
It’s been along time since I’ve chatted with ya’ll.

This summer was brutally hot. I spent many pleasant evenings sitting out on the front porch visiting with my neighbors.

We’re fortunate here that my Assisted Living facility has a very nice olympic sized pool.

Of course, they should have a dress code for these elderly swimmers.

I declare it isn’t pretty. Well, except for cute little Mary Lou.

You remember her, she’s married to the retired doctor Wong Cho. There isn’t an ounce of fat on that pretty little thing.

Then, there’s Harper. He’s a 6’ tall, gray haired and a former olympic swimmer from his younger days.

He’s Austrian. He says they skinny dip in his country. Good Lord, whatever are they thinkin’?

I guess I should be happy he puts a speedo on.

Maybe someone oughta tell him, he isn’t so young anymore. He has more wrinkles than a white shirt waitin’ to be pressed.

As you know, it’s Autumn and the days are getting shorter and cooler. I find it real nice to sit by the lake watching the ducks and readin’ the newspaper.

This morning, I read some funny things I thought you might like.

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The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly  contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n.  The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3.  Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v.  To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj.  Impotent.

6.  Negligent, adj. Absent minded – answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v.  To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n.  Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n.  Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

12. Testicle, n.  A humorous question on an exam.

13. Rectitude, n.  The formal – dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

14. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

15. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

16. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

 ~~~~~ Life is too short to be anything but happy. ~~~~~

Come back real soon and see what else I’m pondering ….. Mabel

2014© written by Isadora

******* Mabel is a fictional character that I’ve created. Any similarities to persons are purely coincidental.