Photo Prompt – ©Madison Woods
I can see the flicker from my living room window, especially on this blackened night. I know it’s that damn candle. The flame is flickering like a bolt of lightning piercing through the sky.
I can’t understand why Mona wanted someone to take care of the horses. I was still capable after my heart attack.
Dang, doesn’t that cowhand get it??? That barn could go up in flames in a minute and light up the sky.
My patience is wearing thin.
But, I’m reduced to silence. I know what she’ll say.
“No need to worry, honey, it’ll be fine.” “Relax.”
2015©isadora delavega
Genre: Fiction
Word Count: 100 Words
****** Revision: I revised two line to help the reader better understand who the main character (the husband) is referring to.
To maintain the 100 word count, I eliminated a word in one sentence and made it two sentences.
Hope this makes the story flow better.
Thank you for my blog critiques.
Dang, didn’t he get it?> original line
Dang, doesn’t that cowhand get it?> revised line
Dang, doesn’t that cowhand get it?> revised line
But, I’m reduced to silence because I know what she’ll say>: original line
But, I’m reduced to silence. I know what she’ll say>: revised line
But, I’m reduced to silence. I know what she’ll say>: revised line
Cowhand – a cowboy employed to tend or ranch cattle or horses; a cowboy or cowgirl.
