Inside the Mind of Isadora


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Nurture Yourself – Hold a Hand


art-terminally-ill-large_transpjliwavx4cowfcaekesb3kvxit-lggwcwqwla_rxju8Mr. William Grey

The nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the hospital bedside.

 “Your son is here,” she said to the old man.

She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened. 
Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, 
 he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside 
 the oxygen tent.

He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man’s limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man’s hand and offering
him words of love and strength.

Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move
 away and rest awhile. He refused.

Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital – the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the
 cries and moans of the other patients. 
  
 Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died.

The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse.

While she did what she had to do, he waited.

Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.

“Who was that man?”  he asked.

The nurse was startled, “He was your father,” she answered.

“No, he wasn’t,” the Marine replied. “I never saw him before in my life.”

“Then, why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?”

“I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn’t here.
 
When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed him, I stayed.

“I came here tonight to find a Mr. William Grey. His Son
 was killed in Iraq today, and I was sent to inform him,” the Marine said. 
 “What was this Gentleman’s Name?”

The nurse with tears in her eyes answered, “Mr. William Grey.”
©anonymous

~~~~~~~~

We always have a choice of what to do. We have the choice of who we want to be with. We are never at the effect of anyone else unless we choose to give up our power or freedom to choose.
The holiday season brings to some feelings of isolation and loneliness.
It would be nurturing to us to ‘Hold a Hand’ that may be in need of compassion and love.
Keep an open heart and mind: Be kind towards someone.
©Isadora De La Vega

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Namaste
I honor the place in you
in which the entire universe dwells.
I honor the place in you
which is of Love, and of Truth,
of Light and of Peace.
When you are in that place in you
and I am in that place in me.
We are One.

~~~~~

Becca hosts Nurturing Thursday
to join in click here

 


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Grandma’s Old Clapboard Farmhouse

friday-fictioneers-prompt-92016-crook2
Childhood stories of the old clapboard farmhouse come rushing to mind as I stand here.

Inside the farmhouse is filled with furnishings of those days gone by.

The tin roof, wooden floor planks, cut-out squares in the walls mimicking windows are flanked by louvered shutters.

The cast iron stove kept all six of them warm in this small four room house.

Grandma’s four poster bed of log timbers showcases a rag quilt atop a straw mattress that lays’ on rope springs.

In a corner, sits the old sewing machine for making clothes or rag quilts.

Relics with momentous stories.

2016©Isadora DeLaVega

Genre: Flash Fiction

Word Count: 100

 

To join Rochelle and her Friday Fictioneers
in this challenge: click here

***** photo prompt©Sandra Crook


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Have You Ever Wondered About ‘Friendships’.…?

friendships - handsThe following are some questions I’m sure many of you have thought about from time to time.

  1. What should we do with friends in our lives when we make them?
  2. How do you manage your time with friends?
  3. As a woman, should you just have female friends?
  4. Do we want to grow emotionally, spiritually and intellectually with friends?
  5. When are friends no longer friends? And, why?

Have you ever been friends with someone for many years but, one day, they disappear from your life leaving you to wonder:

What happened?

Have you had a friendship for a long, long time but, recently, the beginnings of aging and memory problems has changed the relationship despite your desire to prolong it. Our hearts falter to accept this inevitability. We know that terrible thief ‘Aging’ is breathing down their necks while snickering at you.

We’ve all had friendships that have ended without cause. The waning friendship may have been happening all along, slowly, without your noticing the changes.

Sometimes, a change in geographical location can end a friendship. We believe we’ll continue the friendship from a distance but, despite our denial, it won’t be the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’d been reading a few posts by Susannah Bianchi @ her blog ‘A Thing Girl’. Her blog is quite interesting. She takes me back to New York memories from time to time which I can relate to. As she says, “I write with a slant”. If you’d like to read the story that inspired this post click on the title: ‘No More Mimi’.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I read the poem below shortly after a friendship I had had for quite a long time ended because of a move I’d made 27 years ago to another state. I happened upon this poem during that difficult time. I mentioned the title in my comment to Susannah. She hadn’t read it. I decided to post it for her and for anyone who has had a friendship end.

Enjoy,
            Isadora

2016©Isadora DeLaVega

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A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime

People generally come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.
Understanding this principle can enhance your relationships by helping you better serve others and learn or grow from what they have to offer.

Reason

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it may be they have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance. They may be in your life to support you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
A difficult person can challenge you to grow in patience, forgiveness, and/or understanding. Some people may test your strength, commitment, willpower, determination, and/or ethics. A positive and supportive person who comes into our life may seem like a blessing and godsend; and they are. In either case, the person has come into your life for the reason needed.
One day, seemingly without any reason, the relationship may come to an end. This may happen over time as you drift apart, or more suddenly. It may be a positive experience such as someone getting married or moving to another city to take a job offer. Or, the relationship may end through negative circumstances that force you to take a stand on an issue.
What we must realize is that a need has been met – for you and for them. Perhaps it was an unknown need, or maybe it was an answer to a prayer. If the relationship has ended, then reflect, give thanks, consider what you learned, think about what you could/would do better next time (even if you felt the relationship was a good one), forgive if needed, hope/wish/pray the best for that person, and then move on in your journey.

Season

Some people come into your life for a SEASON — an extended period of time. Just as there are seasons for planting, growing, and harvesting; in your  life, there are seasons when you are prepared to learn, grow, or produce. There are other times in your life when you’re not prepared to grow, learn, or even listen. So, when someone comes into your life at a certain season, it is  because the timing is right for what they can offer you.
This person may bring you an experience of great peace, joy, or happiness. They may empower you to do something you have never done before. They may you assurance and strengthen your self-confidence. Accept this, and embrace it. It is real. Yet, maybe for only for a season.
Consider… In life, you may have tasks on a – To Do List – as well as long-term projects that need to be pursued over a period of weeks, months, or years. In the same way, those who come into your life for a short-term Reason, may help you check something off our To Do List. Those who come into your life for a Season will remain for the duration of a more complex long-term purpose.

Lifetime

Some people are in your life for a LIFETIME. These people are, perhaps, the greatest blessing because they stick with you through the Reasons, Seasons, and through your entire lifetime. Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons. These are often qualities, skills, and aspects of your character you must build upon in order to have a solid foundation for yourself and in service to others. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

TODAY THANK A PERSON WHO IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER HAS BEEN PART OF YOUR LIFE

~~- even if in some small way you can make them feel that you are indeed thankful for their presence as well as the beautiful moments that they have given you.
~~~Annonymous~~~

***** Goggle Images


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Make Magic Happen

Flash Fiction Sept.2015 - wpid-photo-20150921073220157The funeral was exactly the way my grandmother had wanted.

And, why wouldn’t it be?

She pre-paid and planned for it all before she died.

Always the forward-thinking woman, no one was going to be able to leave any details out.

The rose garden was to be her final resting place.

She’d say, “Where else would I want to be?”

“These roses have helped me create beautiful paintings that will live on in the homes of so many, long after I’m gone”.
Her garden was magical. She could grow just about anything.

I’m sure she’s looking down at us all and saying,“Pick up a paint brush and make magic happen”.
2015©Isadora DeLaVega

 

Genre: Flash Fiction
Word Count: 113 words

Flash Fiction - wpid-photo-20150907210633006Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers
to join in – click here or froggy button

 

 


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I’ve been thinking of infusing a little humor on my blog because there’s been so much tragedy in the news lately. Summer is coming to an end. The autumn weather will soon bring cooler temperatures. Those living in areas where the climates are cooler will settle in and need a boost of humor to keep their spirits up.  If you’ve been following me for some time you know I live in Florida. There are a great many elderly people who reside here. A few of them have become close friends despite the age difference. I’m quite used to their sense of humor about aging and being elderly. This was sent to me by one of those friends. I hope you enjoy without taking offense.

If you have a joke you’d like to share, create a post on your blog and leave the url with your comment.                                              Thank you for smiling today …
Isadora

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21699400-Smiling-Scientist-Or-Professor-Over-Blank-Sign-Stock-Vector-cartoon-doctor-professor.web

An old geezer, who’d been a farmer for a long time, became very bored with it and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said:

Dr. Geezer’s clinic. “Get your treatment for $500, if you’re not cured you get back $1,000.”

Doctor Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.

He decided to go to Dr. Geezer’s clinic.

This is what transpired:



Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I’ve lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?”
Dr. Geezer:  “Nurse, please bring medicine from box #22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”

Dr. Young: “Aaagh !!! ”That’s Gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”

Dr. Young is annoyed but goes back after a couple of days figuring he’d try to recover his money.

Dr Young:  “I’ve lost my memory, I cannot remember anything. Can you please help me?”

Dr. Geezer:  “Nurse, please bring medicine from box #22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

Doctor Young:  “Oh no you don’t.  That’s Gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer:  “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”

Dr. Young: (after having lost $1000, by now) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.”

Dr. Young:  “Doctor, my eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!”

Dr. Geezer:  “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so – “Here’s your $1000 back.”

Dr. Young:  “But, Doctor, this is only $500…”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations!  You got your vision back!  That will be $500.

“

Moral of story  —  Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an old “Geezer ” !!!!

😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

old-age-cartoon-doctors-pensioners


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Friday Fictioneers – Life Erases

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Alzheimer was erasing her life.

Sarah held the door as her mother shuffled into the club. They’d have brunch every Sunday after Temple at the Boca Grande Golf and Country club.

Father loved golf. He’d been a member for years.

Cecelia, the hostess, greeted them with a big smile while escorting them to Mother’s favorite table.

“A Mimosa, Mrs. Cohen?”

The edge of Mother’s lips curved when it was placed in front of her.

“Your father went far despite Auschwitz,” Mother said with a blank gaze.

“You’re a good girl, Sarah, a good daughter.”

At the funeral, Sarah remembered that.

2015©isadoradelavega

 

Genre – Flash Fiction
Word Count – 100

The challenge is to write a story in 100 words – beginning, middle and end
with the photo prompt.

To join in the challenge – click here

https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com


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Pondering from Mabel – Why did the Chicken cross the Road?

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You can’t miss seeing Spring here at my assisted living home. The gardeners have
been out there planting lots of flowers and hosta ground cover to showcase a picture
perfect painting of Spring.

Recently, the farmer’s market has been coming to our facility
every Thursday. I look forward to it. I can get fresh fruits and vegetables. When Fred and I
lived on the farm, we never had to buy much. Whatever we didn’t grow our neighbors grew.
We shared the fruits of our labors. Our chickens produced the biggest and best tasting eggs.
Fred was big on breakfast. Everyday, he’d have 4 eggs and a big slice of fresh ham. He loved
to soak up my homemade gravy with biscuits. If there wasn’t a biscuit on his plate he knew
I was sick.It was healthier eatin’ then.

Some of the students over at the Trade School have been coming to our
facility on Wednesday’s to give us free hairstyles. Bless their hearts for doing that.
The teacher says we’re helpin’ them to perfect their skill. Of course, we always give them
a little something for their good work.

Now, who doesn’t like to get dolled up?

They gave Mary Lou Cho a cute little bob cut. Her hair is real shiny and moves as she walks.
She’s a tiny little thing. It fits her real well. They gave Audra Bodinet a perm of curls.
Her grey hair is as fluffy as a cotton ball. It looks real pretty and suits her well.Now me,
I’ve been wearing my hair in an upswept bun for years.I wasn’t about to change that. But, this charmin’ young gal made my traditional hairstyle look real modern by the time she was done.

My friends and I decided we’d add lunch to our afternoon. This way we’d be able to show offer
new hairstyles. We got to talkin’ about the farmer’s market and how much we enjoy the fresh
tastin’ foods. When I mentioned our fresh eggs at the farm Audra wanted to know if we could
remember some of those ‘Why did the chicken cross the road jokes?

We did …. here are some of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Chicken - Walking

BARACK OBAMA:
 The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!   The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN McCAIN:
 My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road!

HILLARY CLINTON:
 When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me …..

Chicken walking - 2

DR. PHIL:
 The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.

OPRAH:
 Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

Chicken walking - 3

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…

ANDERSON COOPER – CNN: 
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.



JOHN KERRY:
 Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

Chicken walking - Safe sign

NANCY GRACE:
 That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
 To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
 No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
 Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: 
To die in the rain. Alone.

Chicken walking - thumbs up

BARBARA WALTERS: 
Isn’t that interwesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, forw the firwst time, the heart warming storwy of how it experienced a serwious case of mowlting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dweam of cwossing the woad.



ARISTOTLE:
 It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

Chicken walking - goofey - 4

BILL GATES: 
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@*&^(C% ………reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
 Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

 

BILL CLINTON
: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
 I invented the chicken!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you had another FUN visit with me today.
Ya’ll come back and visit to see what else I’m pondering.
Live Live, Mabel

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything,
but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
2015©isadoradelavega

  ***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.   

Want more Pondering by Mabel

Pondering from Mabel – Ladies Luncheon

Pondering from Mabel – Aids Warning


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Pondering from Mabel – Aids Warning

imagesCAYN3F15 - Copy

It’s been real nice down by the lake now that Spring is around the corner. The swans are swimming ‘round in circles, dancing to the sound of the waterfall. They keep this assisted living facility real nice for us folks.

Just yesterday, Bubba came by when I was watchin’ them and told me he liked watching the swans too. “It’s real peaceful”, he said. I told you about Bubba last time we visited. He’s taken a likin’ to me. Bless his heart. I enjoy talking to him but my Fred has my heart and I still miss him.

We talked about ole crabby George. He was taken from his place a few days after our Valentine’s Day dance. Looks like he had prostrate cancer. We wondered why he’d gotten so thin. He was a grumpy ole codger. Didn’t like talkin’ to folks. He made a fuss about everything. But, no reason to talk ill of the dead. We both figured he might be happier now. Well, enough of that sad talk.

Bubba’s a funny guy. He’s always tellin’ me jokes. I thought you might like hearin’ one.  Here goes:

~~~~~~~~ There’s an Aid’s Warning out ~~~~~~~~

To all of you approaching 55 years or older – this is a warning for you
Seniors are the leading carriers of AIDS!!!
Gardening aids
Hearing aids
Band Aids
Walking aids
Medical Aids
most of all Monetary Aids for their kids.
Not forgetting HIV …. Hair is Vanishing!!!
And finally, the most dreadful Aids : Acute Income Deficiency Syndrome

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wasn’t that funny? I love seein’ my friends here at the assisted living home smilin’.
Heck, if we can’t laugh at ourselves than we’re really old farts. Tell someone a joke from time to time. It makes the day go better when we can see ourselves in a humorous way.

Come back and see what else I’m pondering …..
Live Life, Mabel
2015©isadoradelavega

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

 Life is too short to be anything but happy. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life

with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.

A few other Ponderings from Mabel:

 Pondering from Mabel – Love is in the Air at my assisted Living

Pondering from Mabel – Recalling Love and Marriage

Pondering from Mabel – Be Kind to the Elderly

 


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Pondering from Mabel – Love is in the Air at my Assisted Living

WARNING: BLUE HUMOR

Pondering from Mabel – Love is in the Air at my Assisted Living

imagesCAYN3F15 - Copy

I’m sure you know that Valentine’s Day is just a few days away.

Love is in the air, ’cause they’re puttin’ up those

bright red hearts and balloons for our Valentine Dinner and Dance on Saturday.

I don’t know if my husband, Fred, would have been involved

with all of the celebratin’ we do here. I suppose they’re afraid we might get bored.

They have a gal from the local beauty salon donatin’ her time to doll us all up.

Bless her heart. It should go real quick considerin’ most of us have hair so thin you can see our scalps.

You get to be our age and you don’t rightly care. No sir, breathin’ is the most important.

Of course, sweet little Mary Lou Cho wears one of them new hair wigs.

She always looks real nice. Tiny little thing. I suppose her vanity has her going through all that work.

Ya’ll remember, 91 year old, Willie gettin’ lost on New year’s eve, don’t ya?

If you missed it, you can check here to read all about his foolery.

I got to pondering that, maybe, I should write about something

Seniors should be thinkin’ about for after our Valentine Dance.

I plan on dancing ’til dawn. I hope ya’ll have a real nice Valentine’s Day.

Ccome back and visit real soon.


Live Life,
Mabel

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Lovemaking Tips for Seniors



1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)



4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.



5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember.

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.



7. Have Tylenol or whatever you use ready in case you actually complete the
 act.

8. Make all the noise you want … The neighbors are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news … even if its 8PM… !!

10. Don’t even think about trying it twice.

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Remember Old is When



’OLD’ IS WHEN… 
Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love,’ and you answer, ‘Pick
one;

I can’t do both!’

’OLD’ IS WHEN… 
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.



‘OLD’ IS WHEN… 
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.



’OLD’ IS WHEN… 
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.



‘OLD’ IS WHEN… 
’Getting a little action’ means you don’t need to take a laxative today.



‘OLD’ IS WHEN…. 
’Getting Lucky’ means you find your car in the parking lot.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN… 
An ‘all nighter’ means not getting up to use the bathroom.



’OLD’ IS WHEN…. 
You’re not sure if these are facts or jokes. 










 

 

 

 ***** Mabel is a fiction character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.          


18 Comments

Pondering from Mabel – Happy Thanksgiving to Ya’ll

Grandma Rockin'
I’ve been havin’ the grandest time, today. We’d been told last week to be sure to invite family and friends for a special Thanksgiving dinner and show celebration.

Many of the residents don’t have family livin’ close by. We were asked to invite them to sit with our families. Naturally, I invited my good friend, Barbara. Her daughter, husband and grandkids live in Colorado. Unfortunately, they had a bunch of snow and had to cancel their flight. She’ll be joining them for Christmas.

Then, there is the good doctor Wong Cho and his wife, Mary Lou. She’s been under the weather some. It’s her arthritis. Tiny little thing. She always looks real pretty. Her children are traveling overseas right now. They’ll be traveling to San Francisco when they return to celebrate Christmas.

My Tessa came by early this morning and managed to make these slinky threads on my head look real nice. She brought me a special dress to wear too. She’s a good girl. Her husband, Orville, would be meetin’ us at the dining room later.

There was a big crowd when we arrived at the beautifully decorated dining room. The fall colors were a feast for the eyes. The traditional Thanksgiving food was real good too. There was no shortage of conversation. Then, the social director announced we were going to have a gal by the name of Donnalou Stevens sing a few songs for us. This video is the one I enjoyed the most. I hope you do too.

Older Ladies by Donnalou Stevens

Right after, Donnalou, there was a comedian named Ralph Gilman who came out to keep us laughing.
I had Tessa write down some of his quick one liners for me.
Enjoy !!!!!

Q. Name the four seasons.
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. How is dew formed?
A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What  guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
(Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q… What happens to your body as you age?
A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
(So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
A.. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A.. Keep it in the cow  (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen)
A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.

The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs

and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U (wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A.. A small lie.

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A.. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
(That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q. What is a seizure?
A.. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
(Irrefutable)

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
(brilliant)

Grateful in Our Own Design

I love to see my friends here at the assisted living home smile and laugh.
We sure did that today.
Heck, if we can’t laugh at ourselves than we’re really old farts.
Tell someone a joke from time to time.
It makes the day go better when we can see ourselves in a humorous way.
Happy Thanksgiving Folks …. !!!!
Hugs,  Mabel  🌻

2014©Isadora

  ***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.