Many of the residents don’t have family livin’ close by. We were asked to invite them to sit with our families. Naturally, I invited my good friend, Barbara. Her daughter, husband and grandkids live in Colorado. Unfortunately, they had a bunch of snow and had to cancel their flight. She’ll be joining them for Christmas.
Then, there is the good doctor Wong Cho and his wife, Mary Lou. She’s been under the weather some. It’s her arthritis. Tiny little thing. She always looks real pretty. Her children are traveling overseas right now. They’ll be traveling to San Francisco when they return to celebrate Christmas.
My Tessa came by early this morning and managed to make these slinky threads on my head look real nice. She brought me a special dress to wear too. She’s a good girl. Her husband, Orville, would be meetin’ us at the dining room later.
There was a big crowd when we arrived at the beautifully decorated dining room. The fall colors were a feast for the eyes. The traditional Thanksgiving food was real good too. There was no shortage of conversation. Then, the social director announced we were going to have a gal by the name of Donnalou Stevens sing a few songs for us. This video is the one I enjoyed the most. I hope you do too.
Older Ladies by Donnalou Stevens
Right after, Donnalou, there was a comedian named Ralph Gilman who came out to keep us laughing.
I had Tessa write down some of his quick one liners for me.
Q. Name the four seasons.
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. How is dew formed?
A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
(Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)
Q… What happens to your body as you age?
A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
A.. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A.. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen)
A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs
and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U (wtf!)
Q. What is the fibula?
A.. A small lie.
Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
(That would work)
Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q. What is a seizure?
A.. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
I love to see my friends here at the assisted living home smile and laugh.
We sure did that today.
Heck, if we can’t laugh at ourselves than we’re really old farts.
Tell someone a joke from time to time.
It makes the day go better when we can see ourselves in a humorous way.
Happy Thanksgiving Folks …. !!!!
Hugs, Mabel 🌻
***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.