Pondering from Mabel

February 17, 2016
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 12 Comments

If you haven’t read my pondering words before, you’ve been missin’ a great deal of wisdom.
I’ve been a little under the weather. Don’t get your panties in a knot. I’m not skipping out on this life just yet. I just needed a little rest.

A bunch of my fellow nursing home friends have gone to that special place in the sky. It’s a little different when you’re on a farm. News about things like that are heard at church. You know, the minister announces so-and-so has left us to be with his/ her maker. Here at my beautiful assisted living home, we hear about it more often than we’d like.

Just yesterday, I heard about my fellow resident, George Grapple, passing on due to Parkinson’s Disease. A nervous system disorder marked by tremors, muscular rigidity, and slow, imprecise movement. It robs your body of its stability. His illness was made a lot worse because he had Alzheimers too. Why – I remember when he lost his way back to his place from the dining room one evening. He was found lying in Lorna Mae’s bed. She just about wet her pants when she saw him there. Good golly, you’d da thought he could have done something. Lordy, God rest his soul. Poor darhlin’ …!!!!

But, I’ve got some other things on my mind. Like, Valentine’s Day. It was last Sunday.

Fred was a hopelessly-in-love kinda man. He was a bit rough around the edges. He wasn’t a candles or wine kinda guy. No, he was a farmer with farmer ways. He knew how to let me know he was thinking about me even when it wasn’t an assigned day.
Nope, it wasn’t just a one-day-a-year sorta thing for him.

He brought me wildflowers all the time. The kind that aren’t all the same size or shade of color like the store bought ones. The pretty ribbons he bought me at the general store were perfect for my hair when we went to Sunday sermon. A basket of fresh vegetables and fruits were a tasty unexpected treat when he came home at the end of a long day. The fruit made the best homemade pies. Mmmm … I can smell the aroma of hot apples and cinnamon from the pies that came out of the oven.

Have you been speakin’ loving words everyday to your honey?
Have you been bringing her some wildflowers not the store bought kind?
How about the hot bath you can run for her after a long worn-out-of-her-skin day?
Have you been takin’ the kids for the day so she can sit-a-spell?
How about a homemade meal when she comes in the door after work?

It isn’t the cards or the chocolates you bring her that make for a loving kinda love.
Nope, it’s the thoughtful things that make a woman feel the tenderness that her man can bring.

Fred and I would sit out on the front porch and look up at the moon while we listened to the crickets playing their nightly song. People did a lot more talkin’ and I guess a lot more spooning.

I was readin’ the newspaper this morning with my cup of tea. The colorful funnies are real good for a laugh or two. But today, I discovered some lovemaking tips of seniors.

I hope you have a good laugh. I did.

Comeback and see what else I’m pondering …..
Mabel 💗

2016©Isadora DeLaVega

***** FICTION: Mabel is a ficticious character I’ve created. Any similarities to anyone living or otherwise is purely coincidental.

Lovemaking Tips for Seniors

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write the partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember…

6. Use extra poly grip so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol or whatever you use ready in case you actually complete the
act…

8. Make all the noise you want… The neighbors are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news … even if its
8PM… !!

10. Don’t even think about trying it twice.

March 26, 2015
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 30 Comments

Pondering from Mabel – Why did the Chicken cross the Road?

You can’t miss seeing Spring here at my assisted living home. The gardeners have
been out there planting lots of flowers and hosta ground cover to showcase a picture
perfect painting of Spring.

Recently, the farmer’s market has been coming to our facility
every Thursday. I look forward to it. I can get fresh fruits and vegetables. When Fred and I
lived on the farm, we never had to buy much. Whatever we didn’t grow our neighbors grew.
We shared the fruits of our labors. Our chickens produced the biggest and best tasting eggs.
Fred was big on breakfast. Everyday, he’d have 4 eggs and a big slice of fresh ham. He loved
to soak up my homemade gravy with biscuits. If there wasn’t a biscuit on his plate he knew
I was sick.It was healthier eatin’ then.

Some of the students over at the Trade School have been coming to our
facility on Wednesday’s to give us free hairstyles. Bless their hearts for doing that.
The teacher says we’re helpin’ them to perfect their skill. Of course, we always give them
a little something for their good work.

Now, who doesn’t like to get dolled up?

They gave Mary Lou Cho a cute little bob cut. Her hair is real shiny and moves as she walks.
She’s a tiny little thing. It fits her real well. They gave Audra Bodinet a perm of curls.
Her grey hair is as fluffy as a cotton ball. It looks real pretty and suits her well.Now me,
I’ve been wearing my hair in an upswept bun for years.I wasn’t about to change that. But, this charmin’ young gal made my traditional hairstyle look real modern by the time she was done.

My friends and I decided we’d add lunch to our afternoon. This way we’d be able to show offer
new hairstyles. We got to talkin’ about the farmer’s market and how much we enjoy the fresh
tastin’ foods. When I mentioned our fresh eggs at the farm Audra wanted to know if we could
remember some of those ‘Why did the chicken cross the road jokes?

We did …. here are some of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:  The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN McCAIN:  My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road!

HILLARY CLINTON:  When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me …..

DR. PHIL:  The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on ‘THIS’ side of the road before it goes after the problem on the ‘OTHER SIDE’ of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his ‘CURRENT’ problems before adding ‘NEW’ problems.

OPRAH:  Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…

ANDERSON COOPER – CNN:  We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

  JOHN KERRY:  Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:  That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:  To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:  No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:  Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:  To die in the rain. Alone.

BARBARA WALTERS:  Isn’t that interwesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, forw the firwst time, the heart warming storwy of how it experienced a serwious case of mowlting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dweam of cwossing the woad.

  ARISTOTLE:  It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:  I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@*&^(C% ………reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:  Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

  BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:  I invented the chicken!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you had another FUN visit with me today.
Ya’ll come back and visit to see what else I’m pondering.
Live Live, Mabel

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything,
but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
2015©isadoradelavega

***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.

Want more Pondering by Mabel

Pondering from Mabel – Ladies Luncheon

Pondering from Mabel – Aids Warning

March 2, 2015
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 22 Comments

Pondering From Mabel – Be Kind to the Elderly

The last time we visited, I told you about our Valentine’s Day dinner/dance. Dinner was real good especially the red velvet cake. There was a fine group playing some of our favorite songs. I kicked up my heels – well, not quite heels – but my dance card was full all night. All the ladies were given a red rose while the men were given a box of chocolate hearts. Bubba gave me his box. I think he’s smitten with me. No brag just fact.

Did I tell ya’ll about Bubba before? Lord knows I can’t recall yesterdays lunch.

He’s a nice ol’ country boy from my neck of the woods. His names Robert but he likes us to call him Bubba. A really big burly boy with the heart of a lamb. We kicked up some dust on the dance floor with a 2 step. By 10:00 p.m., I was ready to get to my assisted living place and get me some sleep.

The next mornin’ the mild weather was calling me to walk around the lake. I reached my little spot with the wooden bench overlookin’ the swans. It was real pleasant watchin’ them glide on the water.

Mary Lou and her daughter, Mae Lou, came by a while later. She a good girl to Mary Lou. Bless her heart. She’d been traveling through Asia and hadn’t seen her Daddy, Dr.Wong Cho and her mother for quite some time. She started telling us a heartbreaking story that urged her to visit her mother and daddy. Thank you, Mae Lou, for letting me write this here story for the folks who come and visit with Mabel. Bless your heart.

If you read this and have parents …. be kind to them.
If you read this and don’t have parents alive …. praise them.
If you read this and you’re heart isn’t touched …. reexamine your humaneness.

Lord knows none of us want to be a burden to anyone.

Our bodies defy us into people we never believed we’d ever be.

Love us just the same.

Be the candle of love and light that shines in the hearts of those you call mother and daddy.
Live Life, Mabel
2015©isadoradelavega

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Wooden Bowl

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law and four-year-old grandson.
The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his steps faltered.

The family always ate together at the table. But, the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.
When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the messes.
‘We must do something about father,’ said the son.
‘I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.’

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner of the dining room.
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner together.
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two his food was, now, served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction; sometimes, he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.

Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.
He asked the child sweetly, ‘What are you making?’
Just as sweetly, the boy responded, ‘Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up. ‘Then, the four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then, tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days, he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If this touched your heart and means something to you let others know … reblog!!!

To All Of Your Friends and Everyone You Love!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life

with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.

More – Pondering from Mabel:

Pondering from Mabel – Love is in the Air at my Assisted Living

Pondering from Mabel – Recalling Love and Marriage

February 9, 2015
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 23 Comments

Pondering from Mabel – Love is in the Air at my Assisted Living

WARNING: BLUE HUMOR

Pondering from Mabel – Love is in the Air at my Assisted Living

imagesCAYN3F15 - Copy

I’m sure you know that Valentine’s Day is just a few days away.

Love is in the air, ’cause they’re puttin’ up those

bright red hearts and balloons for our Valentine Dinner and Dance on Saturday.

I don’t know if my husband, Fred, would have been involved

with all of the celebratin’ we do here. I suppose they’re afraid we might get bored.

They have a gal from the local beauty salon donatin’ her time to doll us all up.

Bless her heart. It should go real quick considerin’ most of us have hair so thin you can see our scalps.

You get to be our age and you don’t rightly care. No sir, breathin’ is the most important.

Of course, sweet little Mary Lou Cho wears one of them new hair wigs.

She always looks real nice. Tiny little thing. I suppose her vanity has her going through all that work.

Ya’ll remember, 91 year old, Willie gettin’ lost on New year’s eve, don’t ya?

If you missed it, you can check here to read all about his foolery.

I got to pondering that, maybe, I should write about something

Seniors should be thinkin’ about for after our Valentine Dance.

I plan on dancing ’til dawn. I hope ya’ll have a real nice Valentine’s Day.

Ccome back and visit real soon.

 Live Life,
Mabel

Lovemaking Tips for Seniors  

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

  4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

  5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember.

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.

  7. Have Tylenol or whatever you use ready in case you actually complete the  act.

8. Make all the noise you want … The neighbors are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news … even if its 8PM… !!

10. Don’t even think about trying it twice.

Remember Old is When

  ’OLD’ IS WHEN…  Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love,’ and you answer, ‘Pick one;

I can’t do both!’  ’OLD’ IS WHEN…  Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.  

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…  Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

  ’OLD’ IS WHEN…  You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.  

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…  ’Getting a little action’ means you don’t need to take a laxative today.  

‘OLD’ IS WHEN….  ’Getting Lucky’ means you find your car in the parking lot.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…  An ‘all nighter’ means not getting up to use the bathroom.

  ’OLD’ IS WHEN….  You’re not sure if these are facts or jokes.            

***** Mabel is a fiction character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.
 

January 14, 2015
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 24 Comments

Pondering from Mabel – Recalling Love and Marriage

I’m just about worn out from all the celebratin’ we had going on here at my assisted living home for the holidays. The dining hall was lit up real pretty and everyone was in a festive mood.

My daughter, Tessa, wanted to celebrate New Year’s with me but I wouldn’t have it. She was here for Christmas and that was good enough. Besides, I didn’t want her and her husband, Orville, on the road on a dangerous night like that. She’s so sweet though, bless her heart.

On New Year’s eve, there were fireworks at dusk over the fountain in the man-made lake. Of course, no one would have made it to midnight.

There was a bit of fireworks over at Melba’s place right after. It looks like Willie was a bit disoriented and wound up at Melba’s place. What made it hilarious was that Willie wouldn’t get out of her bed and kept saying, “Come to bed, Honey.” At 91 years young, I think Willie was confused about how well his willie was going to do. Everyone had a good laugh about it and Melba’s dignity was restored the next day.

When all that happened, I recalled an article I had read when I was younger about Love and Marriage.

Here’s what I remember from it ….

Love & Marriage 
Love is holding hands in the street.

 Marriage is holding arguments in the street.  

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant .

Marriage is a take home box.  

Love is cuddling on a sofa.

 Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.  

Love is talking about having children. 

Marriage is talking about how to get away from children.

  Love is going to bed early. 

Marriage is going to sleep early.  

Love is a romantic drive.

 Marriage is never making it into the car for a drive.  

Love is losing your appetite. 

Marriage is losing your figure.  

Love is sweet nothings’ in the ear. 

Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

  Love is never watching TV. 

Marriage is a fight for the remote control.  

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. 

Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!”.  

Conclusion:  ”Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!!!”

Hope your year 2015 is a good one ….
Live Life
Hugs, Mabel

***** Mabel is a character I’ve developed for the purpose of writing about life with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor from a seniors citizens point of view.

November 5, 2013
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 2 Comments

Pondering from Mabel

Pondering from Mabel ….

It looks like quite a few folks are finding out I’ve moved from the farm into this new assisted living place. My Fred would not have been happy. He was a country man. He loved to watch the corn growing and the smell of freshly cut grass.

I’ve been trying to unpack my boxes. It’s been a little much for me. There are lots of memories in each one.

And, the dang phone keeps ringing. My daughter, Tessa, came by and brought me one of them new fancy message machines. She told I had to record a message and left me to decide what I wanted to say. I think I came up with a real good one.
**********************************************************************************************
Here’s my message:

I am not available right now,
but
Thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making
some changes in my life.
Please leave a message
after the beep.
If I don’t return your call,
You’re one of those changes.

Into each life a little humor shall enter …
Mabel’s way

Come back and see what else I’ve been ponderings ….

Mabel 💗

***** FICTION: Mabel is a fictitious character I’ve created. Any similarities to anyone living ot otherwise is purely coincidental.

October 28, 2013
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 32 Comments

Pondering from Mabel

Pondering from Mabel ….

My young daughter, Tessa, found this very nice assisted living facility for me. Bless her heart. I have to admit I wasn’t happy about leaving the farmhouse Fred and I lived in for 40 years. Oh, this place is nice enough but there aren’t any memories here.
She said it would help take away some of her concerns about my safety. They thought of everything here. There is a dining hall, tennis courts, walking and bicycle paths, swimming pool, exercise facility plus arts and crafts. Each room in my place is equipped with buttons on the wall for emergencies. You know, ‘I’ve fallen and I can’t get up’ buttons.

Tessa still calls and is fussing every day.

She wants to know if I’ve joined any groups.

Have I made any friends?

Am I pleased with the food they serve?

I think she’s a bit of a worrier.

The next time Tessa called I was ready. I told her I had thought about her concerns and decided to go over to that recreation center and sign up for something. I told her I had joined a group. She was tickled pink and wanted to know what it was.

I said, “It’s a skydiving group”.

“Mother, she exclaimed. You’re 84 years old. Why would you join a skydiving group? It’s dangerous. You can’t jump out of planes.”

Oh my, I said. And I’ve signed up for 7 lessons with this mile high club”.

THUMP …..

I guess I’ve gone a little too far.

Into each life a little humor shall enter –
Mabel’s way

Come back and see what else I’ve been ponderings ….

Mabel 💗

***** FICTION: Mabel is a fictitious character I’ve created. Any similarities to anyone living ot otherwise is purely coincidental.

October 13, 2013
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 22 Comments

Pondering from Mabel ….

Pondering from Mabel ….

CAUTION – ADULT HUMOR

Mabel says ….
A Fairytale about Cinderella … Watch What You Ask For

Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.

One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?”

The Fairy Godmother replied, “Well, Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?”

Cinderella is overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish:

“I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension.”

Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold.

Cinderella was stunned. Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear.

Cinderella said, “Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother!”
The Fairy Godmother replied, “It’s the least I can do. What does your heart wish for your second wish?”

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, “I wish I were young and full of the beauty of youth again.”

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage returned.

Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years and long forgotten vigor and vitality began to course through her very soul.

Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke. “You have one more wish, what will you have?” Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said, “I wish you to transform Alan my old cat into a beautiful, and handsome young man.”

Magically, Alan suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up, that when complete he stood before her, a boy, so beautiful the like of which she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds begun to fall from the sky at his feet.

The Fairy Godmother again spoke. “Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life.” And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone.

For a few eerie moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other’s eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen.

Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms.

He leaned in close to her ear, whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath, “I bet you regret having me neutered now, don’t you?

Into each life a little humor shall enter – Mabel’s way

Come back and see what else I’ve been ponderings ….
Mabel 💗

***** FICTION: Mabel is a ficticious character I’ve created. Any similarities to anyone living ot otherwise is purely coincidental.

October 7, 2013
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 10 Comments

Pondering from Mabel ….

Mabel says ….

I have some things I’ve been ‘Pondering’ about Texting for Seniors …

The kids have all their texting codes…like

BFF (best friends forever)

WTF (what the f***?)

LOL (laughing out loud)

So why not some codes for seniors:

ATD – At the Doctor’s

BFF – Best Friends Funeral

BTW – Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM – Covered by Medicare

CUATSC – See You at the Senior Center

FWIW – Forgot Where I Was

FYI – Found Your Insulin

GGPBL – Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA – Got Heartburn Again

HGBM – Had Good Bowel Movement

IMHO – Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO – Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL – Living on Lipitor

LWO – Lawrence Welk’s On

OMSG – Oh My! Sorry, Gas

ROFL…CGU – Rolling on the Floor Laughing…Can’t get Up!

WAITT – Who Am I Talking To?

WTFA – Wet the Furniture Again

WTP – Where’s the Prunes

WWNO – Walker Wheels Need Oil

GGLKI – Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!

DTAF – Don’t Trust A Fart

Come back and see what else Mabel’s been ponderings ….
Mabel 💗

***** FICTION: Mabel is a ficticious character I’ve created. Any similarities to anyone living ot otherwise is purely coincidental.

September 29, 2013
by Inside the Mind of Isadora 20 Comments

Pondering from Mabel ….

Mabel says ….

I have some thoughts no one seems to be able to answer ….

1. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Are we supposed to like it burnt? Someone said it helps a sour stomach. Hah … they can’t fool me.

2. What disease did cured ham actually have? And … why are we eating it? I hope it isn’t contagious.

3. Why does a round pizza come in a square box? I think they’re trying to test our intelligence. Hah … I fooled them. I purchase one slice at a time.

4. If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat? I’ll bet he wasn’t a professor after all.

5. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Babies are nice and smooth. I’m off to soak in baby oil.

Come back and see what else Mabel is pondering …..

Mabel 💗

***** Mabel is a ficticious character I’ve created. Any similarities to anyone living or other are purely coincidental.